


We do

by 78669



Category: Cricky - Fandom
Genre: AU where no homophobia or closets or bearding exists, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of it, Other, Please keep in mind that, Sexual Content, although the characters in this fic obviously are inspired by real people, they are still fictional characters after all.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-01-27 09:53:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12579120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/78669/pseuds/78669
Summary: Cristiano is very content with his life. He has an adorable son and an amazing husband both of whom he loves dearly.When he goes for an early swim one Saturday morning, he finds a boy sleeping on the side of his pool. He soon discovers the boy's incredibly dark past – and makes a decision that changes all their lives forever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> This fic contains mentions as well as graphic descriptions of child abuse (physical and sexual) and panic attacks.  
> Please be safe and don't read if these warnings apply to you!
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter takes place around half a year before the twins were born.  
> I changed some things about Cristiano's home to make it fit my fic, I hope no one will bother!
> 
>  
> 
> @Lousea: I can't credit you enough for introducing me to this fandom altogether as well as encouraging me and giving me so much appreciated feedback! I hope you'll be around some day to see where this is going :)  
> Lots and lots of love
> 
> @cricky-renaldo: Thank you so so so much for helping me with the editing (dear readers, if you notice an increase in mistakes/spelling errors/typos in the last third of this chapter, they're entirely my fault ^^) as well as for your constant reassurement and encouragement! This chapter would never have been posted without you!
> 
> @GivenTheChonce_x: Thank you thank you thank you for your help with the Portuguese bits! Please never hesitate to call me out on any mistakes :D <3
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Please keep in mind that, although the characters in this fic obviously are inspired by real people, they are still fictional characters after all.

It was very early and the sun had just begun to come up behind the hills, and Cristiano shivered a little in his swimming trunks as he walked outside in the chill breeze for a morning swim.

He liked to start the day like this – first swimming in the cool water, then taking a hot shower. It was Saturday, and Cristiano was alone for the weekend; Junior was spending it at his grandma's and Ricardo had a business meeting back in Lisbon. Both would come home Sunday night.

A little absentmindedly, he approached the pool – and suddenly hesitated.  
Beside the pool edge lay a boy, curled up and visibly asleep. It was hard to tell how old he was. He was small and slender, which was made all the more obvious by the fact that the clothes he was wearing were practically rags. Dark brown hair showed in between his arms that were covering his head, which seemed like an attempt to protect himself.

Cris didn't quite know what to do. He wondered how the boy had gotten there, given the fact that the whole property was surrounded by fences, plus the entire area was guarded by security cameras. There must be a loophole or some other error, Cris thought.

He slowly walked towards the sleeping boy, crouched down beside him, and gingerly touched his upper arm.

The boy opened his eyes and then raised them at Cris, looking so startled that Cristiano instantly felt sorry for waking him, but before he could say anything, the boy tried to get to his feet so rushed and panicky that he didn't seem to remember the pool edge only inches away from him, and fell into the water.

Without thinking, Cris lunged forward, grabbed the boy, and pulled him back up again.

'Are you alright?' he asked, still a little in shock so that he instinctively spoke Portuguese without even noticing it.

The boy was cowered in front of Cris, clothes and hair all wet now, and looked up to him with big, dark eyes which expressed nothing but fear. ' _Desculpa _,'__ he uttered, before he fell silent again and continued staring at Cristiano as if he expected him to jump at him any second.

 

Cris backed off a little. He blinked twice before he could finally think of something to say.  
'What are you doing here? How did you get in here? Who are you? Why do you speak Portuguese? Are you hurt?'

He interrupted himself. His brain couldn't catch up with his mouth. He took a deep breath, crouched down again, and looked at the boy in a way that he hoped was calming.  
'What's your name?'

The boy swallowed hard and inhaled sharply.  
'Jeffrey.'

Cristiano rubbed his head. 'Alright then, Jeffrey,' he said. 'So you live in Spain, have an English name and speak Portuguese. Anything else you want to tell me about yourself?'

'I am sorry,' Jeffrey repeated, and Cris nodded several times, 'yes, yes, you said that. I tell you what, Jeffrey, first thing we do is you come inside with me and we get you some dry clothes, and then - '  
He stopped again when he saw that Jeffrey started trembling and tears were streaming down his face.

'Please,' the boy sobbed quietly, 'I swear I didn't break or steal anything, I'm so sorry, please just let me go, you will never see me again, I promise, _please _\- '__

 

He stopped himself, knowing that it was no use, but he was so desperate that he had tried anyway. He bit his lower lip and stared at the ground.

Cristiano sighed. In an attempt to comfort him, he made a step towards Jeffrey and reached out with one hand, but immediately hesitated when he saw the boy flinch and trying to back off.  
'Please don't fall into the pool again,' he said and instantly felt stupid.

'Come on now,' he finally continued in a very low voice, 'you get up and join me. You'll get something dry to wear and a nice and hot cup of tea, and then we'll have a little chat.  
I won't hurt you,' he felt weirdly obligated to add.

Jeffrey wiped his face with his sleeve, which, of course, didn't have much of an effect. Then he rose to his feet, eyes still on the ground, and nodded obediently. He looked terrified, yet seemed to be trying his best to hold himself together. Cris felt the urge to hug him, but he didn't dare. That boy was not much taller than Junior, but judging by the look in his expressional eyes the days of his childhood had been long gone.  
Cris made himself smile encouragingly. ' _Vamos _.'__

 

While walking back to the house, Jeffrey following him like an obedient puppy, it suddenly occurred to Cris that he was wearing nothing but his very small and tight swimming trunks. Probably he would have been scared, too, he thought, being woken by a muscular and basically half naked strange man. This whole scenario was absurd.

Inside, Cristiano pointed at the big sofa. 'Get rid of those wet clothes,' he said, heading towards the stairs, 'you can take a blanket while I'm looking for something that might fit you.'  
He was more than surprised when Jeff suddenly blocked his way. The expression in the boy's pretty face had changed. There was still fear, but there was also something else, something new. Cris couldn't read it.

'It's alright,' Jeffrey said, voice sounding different as well, 'don't bother. Can we get this done quick?' He swallowed.  
'Please?'

Cris didn't understand a thing. 'Get... what? What are you talking about?'  
Jeffrey spoke through gritted teeth. 'Please, _senhor _,__ I don't mean to be rude, but we both know what I'm here for now, so please let us get started, it's no use prolonging it.'

 

His eyes hadn't left the ground, and they didn't now as he took off his ragged and still soaking wet shirt. After that he got down on his knees.

When he got no reaction, he eventually looked up at Cristiano – and hurried to his feet again.  
Whatever it was that he had expected from Cristiano, it clearly wasn't seeing him in tears.

'What... what... who,' Cris stammered, shaking his head like he was in pain. It took him some time to regain control over himself. He sniffed.  
'Who did this to you?' he finally managed to ask.

Jeffrey shrugged. 'Doesn't matter. Men like you. They let me stay the night and in exchange I let them - ' he couldn't finish the sentence because he was interrupted by Cristiano's sobbing.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not the one who has a reason to cry, I know that, it's just...'  
Cris took a deep breath and wiped his face with his hands.  
'I have never seen so many scars on such a small body,' he ended, his voice still shaky. 'How old are you and what on earth have you been through in your short life?'

Jeffrey didn't know what to answer. Suddenly he felt ashamed. There was this buff man, wearing nothing but very tiny shorts, who commanded him into his house and told him to strip down; what else should he have been thinking?  
He was so awfully tired.

'I'm thirteen.'

Cris felt a little dizzy. This was too much, all of it. 'I'll be right back,' he muttered, went upstairs, and got dressed. He found some jeans and a long sleeved shirt which were just a little bit too big for Junior but lay in his closet anyway because Junior had said 'I'm gonna fit in them real soon, you will see!' and insisted on having them bought. Cris thought of his six year old son and what a bundle of sunshine he was. The thought that someone could ever hurt him like that boy downstairs had been hurt made Cris physically sick. He had to sit down on the bed and close his eyes for a few minutes before he was able to go back.

When he did, he found Jeffrey in the exact same place where he had left him. He looked so small and so... lost. It was heartbreaking.  
But Cris had to hold himself together now. One of them had to be strong, and Cris had a hunch that this boy had been all too strong all his life – had had to be.

It was not actually a conscious decision, but nevertheless Cristiano _had_ decided to protect this boy at all costs from now on.

 

Neither of them knew that at this very moment, but they would most definitely find out.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

'Hey there. Jeffrey.' Cris tried to make his voice sound jaunty, 'I found some clothes that will probably fit you. And I brought you a towel. Why don't you change while I go and make some tea?'  
He couldn't help but glance at the small boy who was still shirtless. Jeff looked seriously underweight. And there were not only the scars. There were marks around both his wrists like he had been tied up. His arms and upper body were covered in bruises and other injuries of different kinds and ages. Cris could tell from the expression on Jeffrey's face that the boy knew all too well what he looked like. He turned away and headed for the kitchen to give Jeff some privacy for changing.

When he returned with two cups of steaming hot tea in his hands, Jeffrey was wearing the clothes Cris had given him and was drying his hair with the towel. Cris put the cups on the table and nodded towards the sofa. 'Sit down, will you?'  
Jeffrey obliged. Of course he did.

Cris sat down beside him, not too close to him, and then sighed and looked the boy straight in the eye. 'Well then. My name is Cristiano. You don't happen to know me, do you?'

'What? No, _senhor _.__ Why would I know you?'

 

Cris held back a smile. 'Never mind. As you might imagine, I'd like to ask you a few questions. But first of all I want to make sure that you understand one thing: I am not going to hurt you in any way. Ever. You got that?'

Jeff nodded because he was expected to, but he clearly didn't believe a single word, so Cristiano just continued. 'So your name is Jeffrey and you're thirteen years old and you... live on the streets of Madrid? Do you have a family name? And, you know, a family?'

Now Jeffrey's eyes went back to the floor. 'Dawson,' he answered in a low voice.

'Okay, good, that's a start. Are you a run-away? Do your parents live in Madrid?'

'No. They live in New York. I believe. I was born there.'

Cris raised his eyebrows. 'New York? How have you come here then?' He took a deep breath. 'Listen, I'm going to ask you everything I need to know now and then afterwards you can try and answer what you remember, alright?' Since there was only silence, he kept talking.

'Why are you in Madrid if your parents live in New York? How long have you been here? Did you come here on your own? Do you actually live alone on the streets? Since when? Who gave you all those marks on your skin? How did you manage to get onto my property? Why did you come here? And who am I gonna call now to take care of you?'

He had been half joking to get the boy to relax a little, but it didn't turn out so well.  
Jeffrey inhaled deeply and blinked a few times.  
He looked very serious and focused – strained.

'I lived with my parents until I was... about eight, I think. So, five years ago we moved to Lisbon. Well, that's what they told me. They stayed there for a holiday, I guess, and three weeks later they went back to New York and...'

'Left you there?' Cris asked, horrified. Jeffrey nodded once more.  
'I think they had planned that for quite a while. We never got along very well. They used to say I was... I was...' he swallowed hard, 'well, there was something wrong with me. I'm not normal.' He tried to blink away some tears. 'I know that. I don't blame my parents. At least they kept me until I was old enough to take care of myself. I was nothing but a burden to them.'  
Now he spoke through gritted teeth. 'Whatever. You don't have to listen to this. I will try to answer your other questions. Yes, I live on the streets. I stayed in Lisbon for some time, it wasn't any different from here actually. One or two years ago, I don't remember, I was taken to Madrid by a man who - ' a whimper escaped from his mouth and Cristiano saw that he was trembling now. But he let him continue. Maybe he needed to voice all this.

Jeffrey held up his wrists, avoiding to look at them himself. 'I got these from him. Got the same marks on my ankles. However, one day I managed to run away. From that day on I lived on the streets again.  
And now I'm here.  
There's some very small damage in one of the fences. I can show you where so you can have it repaired. I didn't break anything. I just came here because I thought with all the fences and stuff it might be quite safe. I just longed to spend one night safe...'  
His voice broke and he spitefully wiped away a tear which rolled down his cheek.

'There is no one you can call. The police, maybe, because I broke into your home. I have been where they would take me. I won't stay there.'

He had actually answered every question. Cristiano's head was spinning. The tea had grown cold, but they drank it anyway because it saved them from talking for a little while.

'Wow,' Cristiano finally said, 'that was a lot of... a lot. So basically you're completely on your own, vulnerable, and I totally get why you're so scared.  
Please look at me, _menino _.'__

 

Jeffrey did, although it was obvious that it was hard for him.

'You just told me you came here to be safe. And now I'm telling you something very important: You _are_ safe here. You are. And if there's no one out there to protect you then I guess you'll just have to stay here until we figure something out, right?'

 

Jeff didn't answer. But he went pale and his eyes became dark with fear. Apparently his thoughts on this suggestion were far from what Cristiano had in mind.

'Listen, _menino _.__ I appreciate you being so open with me. I'm struggling to get my head around all this to be honest. I have a six year old son myself,' he stood up, took a framed picture of himself, Ricky, and Junior from a sideboard and handed it to Jeffrey as he sat down again, 'I love him more than my life, I'd do absolutely anything for him, to make sure he's happy and safe.' He felt tears coming up again, but he didn't care.  
'Seeing your child as a burden, or worse, abandoning them, that is something I couldn't ever imagine even in my worst nightmares. What your parents did is horrible. And most importantly, it was not your fault in any way! If parents are incapable of loving their child it's never the child's fault. Never, you hear me?'

 

Cris sighed once more. He wished so badly he could just give that boy a hug, kiss his hair or his temple like he did with Junior when he had hurt himself, but by now he knew he couldn't do that.

Jeffrey was observing the picture in his hands.  
'He does look happy. What's his name?'

Cristiano failed to hold back a little proud smile. 'Cristiano junior.'

Jeff nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off the little boy in the photo, who smiled brightly into the camera. He was sitting in the backseat of a car, while in the front, Cristiano sat next to a guy in a white shirt, both men were wearing sunglasses and were smiling widely as well.  
'He looks like you.'

Cristiano chuckled quietly. 'Yes, lucky boy.

But I am very serious about this, Jeffrey. Whatever it is that happened, it was not your fault. You deserve the same amount of love and care and happiness as this little man here.' His index finger gently caressed Junior's face on the photo.

Jeffrey's brows furrowed. He was obviously thinking.  
Then suddenly he yawned. He covered his mouth with one hand. 'I'm sorry.'

'No need to apologise,' Cris said with a little smile, taking the picture back to the sideboard and looking at the clock. It was already noon.  
'I suppose you've had a long night. How about you just take a nap and we'll deal with everything else later? I'll get you a pillow, a blanket is right beside you.'

For a second it seemed like Jeff wanted to contradict, but then he yawned again instead. He was still pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. He nodded tiredly and then sank into the sofa without another word, already half asleep. When Cris came back with the pillow, Jeffrey's eyes were closed and his breath was deep and steady. Cristiano took the blanket and spread it over the sleeping boy. After that, he stood beside him and watched him sleep, he couldn't help it. He was pretty exhausted himself, but he couldn't take his eyes off this boy who looked even smaller asleep.  
Cristiano's head was still spinning a little. How was it possible that all those terrible things had happened to this child? Why had nobody been there to protect him? How could he have lived on the streets for so long without anyone noticing and taking care of him? How could some pervert have just taken him and kept him as some sort of – Cris shivered and felt the sickness rising up from his stomach again. All of this was nothing but a nightmare. No, he corrected himself, it was far worse, because it was real. He racked his brain, trying to understand all of this, but he couldn't. And neither, which bothered him even more, did he know what to do about it. He just knew, felt it deep inside his heart, that he was not going to let this continue. If no one else was going to take care of this kid, he was.  
Although he would be damned if he knew how.

He was abruptly brought back to the here and now when he heard Jeffrey whimper quietly. The boy was writhing in his sleep, his closed eyes moving rapidly. One small hand hung out from under the blanket and over the edge of the sofa. It opened and closed repeatedly as if it was searching for something. Jeff began to make noises which sounded like a cross between moaning and sobbing, and Cristiano's heart tensed up.  
Without really thinking about it, he crouched down and gently took the little hand into his own. He almost jumped when the boy's hand suddenly held on to his with a strength it didn't look like it was even capable of. And it seemed to work. The writhing and whimpering had stopped, although Jeffrey's breath was still heavy and sounded somehow painful.  
Cristiano did what he always did when Junior had had a bad dream, which thankfully happened very seldom: He talked to the boy in a very low and calming voice.

'Shh, it's alright, love, everything is gonna be fine. _Vai ficar tudo bem._ Nothing will happen to you. I'm here. _Estou aqui_. I'm here. Shh...'

It actually had the effect Cris had been hoping for. Jeff's eyes stopped moving and his breath slowly became steady again.  
But he wouldn't let go of Cristiano's hand.  
Cristiano was fine with it. He sat down on the floor and just waited. He had done this with Junior more often than he could count. The only difference was that he had lain in bed with Junior instead of sitting on the floor beside it.  
And that this boy was more than twice Junior's age. But he had so much to catch up on, Cristiano thought.  
He was longing to help him with that.

 

Although he would be damned if he knew how.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Cris only realised that he had fallen asleep when he was awoken by the sound of Jeffrey's sobbing.  
It took him a moment to remember everything. Then he placed himself on the couch again, next to the boy who sat on the edge of it, face buried in his hands and his small shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Cris had seen him cry and had heard the painful sounds he had made, but this was just too much. He couldn't take this.

He gingerly grabbed one of Jeffrey's wrists and pulled his arm away from his face to make the boy look at him.  
'Tell me what's going on,' he said in the softest voice.

Jeff sucked in a wet breath. 'I... I,' he stuttered, 'I was about to... I wanted... I tried – but I couldn't, because - ' He sniffed. His hands were now tightly clenched onto the fabric of the shirt he was wearing. After a few very deep breaths he managed to form a whole sentence.

'I woke up and saw that you were sleeping too, so I tried to sneak out.'  
He gritted his teeth, tears still streaming down his face.  
'But before I got to the door I remembered that I'm wearing your son's clothes. I didn't know what to do. I was afraid you'd wake up in the time I'd need to change. But I couldn't just take them. The clothes. They belong to your son. You bought them for him, and then you gave them to me, but they belong to him, and he looks so happy on that picture – ' Jeff went back to sobbing, harder than before, grabbing his hair with both of his hands and rocking himself as he trembled.

This time Cris completely got what was going on. It had been the first time, ever maybe, that someone had done something nice for Jeffrey just for the sake of it. He had felt safe enough to fall asleep in Cris' presence, had seen the picture of a boy that lived with Cris and was so happily smiling, and there was no way he could steal something belonging to that boy and which had been given to him by Cris. There was a very tiny little part of Jeff that was actually trying to believe that he might be safe with Cris – at least Cris hoped so – and he obviously didn't know how to handle that, because it was something he had never felt before.  
He was completely overwhelmed and lost and scared and confused, and this time Cris didn't even think about it, he just pulled the boy into his arms, one hand covering his head like he had done with Junior when he had been a baby, and surprisingly Jeffrey didn't try to back away but sunk into the hug, still sobbing, face buried into Cris' neck and his little arms holding tightly onto Cris' muscular shoulder.

They sat like that for quite a long time, Jeffrey crying and shaking so hard that Cris was afraid he'd choke, and Cris holding him as tight as he dared with one arm, cupping his head firmly but softly with the other hand, gently rocking him as he instinctively placed kisses in his hair, because that's what you do when you comfort a hurting child.

After a while Cris let go of Jeffrey's upper body and took his face into both of his hands. Jeff was so tensed up that it hurt just to look at him, and Cris was starting to worry..

' _Olha para mim _,'__ he urged, and although it seemed to be the hardest thing he’d ever done, Jeffrey complied. He bit his already swollen lips to hold in the sobs that still tried to shake him, but managed to look at Cris. His eyes were still full of tears, yet the expression of sheer terror wasn't there anymore.  
'Crying can be a very good and healthy thing for you to do, _ __menino_ , __but you're gonna choke. You have to breathe, all right?'

 

 

Jeff nodded. There was so much pain written all over his face, but Cris saw he did his best to steady his breath. He couldn't stop himself from trembling, though, but that was okay. Cris was still there to hold him. He pulled the boy back into a hug, this time very gentle, and finally felt him relax, probably due to the fact that Jeffrey was slowly drifting back to sleep again.  
'I'm just so tired,' he heard him mumble quietly.  
'Everything hurts so much.'

There was one more faint sob and then the tension in Jeffrey's body was completely gone.  
His breath was deep and finally steady.

This time Cris kept the boy in his arms while he was sleeping. He didn't care how long he’d have to sit like this, or that the day was nearly over and he hadn't even eaten anything.  
He didn't feel hungry, though. There was too much going on in his head and in his heart.

He gently kissed Jeffrey's hair again.  
'We'll figure something out,' he whispered, 'I promise. I promise you'll be safe from now on.'

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

Jeffrey slept through the night without waking up once, and without any bad dreams, it seemed.  
Cris did not sleep at all.  
Once he tried to get up as carefully as he could to fetch a glass of water, but the second Jeff lost contact with him he started to wince, so Cris sat himself back down, wrapped his arms around the small boy again, and just accepted that he wasn't going anywhere.

 

It wasn't until the sun came up again that Jeffrey moved slightly, and slowly started to open his eyes.  
It entered Cristiano‘s mind that Jeff probably hadn't had a good night's sleep for years, and knowing that had finally changed made up for his tensed muscles and the pain in his back and his head.  
As soon as Jeff sat up, Cris let go of him. Jeffrey rubbed his face and Cris gave him a little smile. 'Good morning. I'm glad you're up, I've needed to pee for what feels like hours. You won't disappear while I've gone to the bathroom, will you?'  
Jeffrey shook his head. He was still pale and his hair was all messy, but there was the tiniest little hint of a smile on his lips. 'I won't.'

Cris was back in a minute and pointed to the door he had just come through. 'If you need to go too? There are toothbrushes for guests in the cupboard.'  
Jeff nodded and stiffly got up, limping as he walked towards the guest's bathroom. Cris was reminded of all his injuries again and decided that they would need to be taken care of. They would eventually heal, probably leaving some more scars, but it was important that they got them cleaned and maybe bandaged up. Now it was Cris‘ turn was to feel overwhelmingly tired. But it wasn’t time for him to sleep or rest now. He had to make sure Jeff got something to eat, maybe showered or had a bath, and was given some new clothes to wear.  
And they needed to discuss what they were going to do.

Well, Cris admitted to himself, he had already kind of decided that Jeffrey would stay with him and his family.  
He just didn't know whether it'd be a good idea to tell him yet.

 

When Jeff returned from the bathroom, Cris had made some more tea and put some cereals, a jug of milk, two bowls, and two spoons on the kitchen table.  
'These are Junior's favourites,' he said, 'of course I could also make you some eggs or porridge or something.'  
'No, please don't bother,' Jeffrey replied, 'this is completely fine.  
Thank you,' he added and finally looked at Cris. 'I'm actually quite hungry.  
Will you eat with me?'  
'Well, I don't have to if you're not comfortable with it.'  
Jeff held up both hands to stop Cristiano right there.  
'No, sorry, that was not what I meant! I would like you to – ' He bit his lower lip, but there was a smile on his face, a real, actual smile, even if it was tiny and short. A sudden warmth spread through Cristiano's stomach when he saw that, and they each took a seat at the kitchen table.

After they had finished eating and Jeff had helped Cristiano put the dishes in the sink, they sat back down again. Somehow the kitchen felt more comfortable to both of them, despite the fact that it was an open kitchen and not a seperate room.  
There was silence for some time, but it was not a tensed one anymore, so that Cristiano finally brought up the courage to pronounce something that he had had in mind since Jeffrey had first talked about his experiences with other people. Well, men, mainly.

 

'May I ask you something?'  
Jeffrey nodded.  
'Has anyone ever let you stay with them without expecting you to... you know?'  
Jeff nodded again. 'Actually yes. There was this guy once. He saw me sitting on a bench at nightfall and asked me if I wasn't supposed to be home by that time. I thought I knew what he had in mind, so I outright told him that I had no place to go. He appeared very kind and then offered me to spend the night at his place. I went with him and he acted really nice, made me some soup and then gave me a blanket to sleep on his couch. He didn't make any attempts towards me though, but I believed that I knew what I was expected to do, so... yeah.'  
Cris didn't say anything; he knew what Jeff was talking about, and Jeff knew that Cristiano knew.  
A hint of a smile appeared for not even a second on Jeffrey's lips.  
'He stopped me calmly and said “I'd be very flattered and definitely willing to take you up on your suggestion if you were about twenty years older and actually consenting on this. I am into men, not into boys, especially not when they're terrified of me. You see, I'm a homosexual. Not a pedophile. I suggest you just go to sleep and tomorrow I'll make you a proper breakfast before you leave. What do you say?“  
He kept his word.

I'm not sure it's only the real... pedophiles who are drawn towards me though. I think there is a certain kind of man who just gets off on hurting and humiliating others, it's not essential for them whether it's women or, well, me, that's not an actual sexual issue, you know? It's about power and some sick kind of dominance.'  
He broke off as if he'd suddenly realised he'd talked too much. His face was very serious now.  
So was Cris' when he looked Jeffrey in the eye. 'You're thirteen. You should not know about these things. Although you're right, no doubt about that.

So men who are into other men are less of a threat to you, is that the case?'  
Jeff shrugged and then nodded for the third time, and Cris had to hide a smirk, feeling temped to add 'If it is, I have some good news for you', but he didn't. When Ricky'd come home Jeff would most definitely find out himself.

They sat there for another while in strangely comfortable silence, until Cris finally clapped his hands once and got up.  
'Alright then, time to act like a proper adult, now is it? I know your size now so I'll have someone bring you some new clothes. What style do you prefer? I'll also have a doctor come here to take care of your injuries, and you need a bath because you still have that chlorine from the pool all over you. I suggest I tell the doctor to bring some stuff to put into your bath that helps soothing the pain, and you'll be bandaged up after that so we can help you heal. Just let me make some phonecalls, this will take no more than a minute.'  
He went to his bedroom to get his phone, leaving a pretty dumbfounded Jeffrey sitting at the table.  
When he returned, Jeff looked at him with eyes so big that Cris could barely hold in a chuckle.  
'It's all been taken care of, two guys of my staff will be here in no time.'

'Your – your... staff? You – what?'  
Cris took a breath and then smiled kindly at Jeffrey.  
'You obviously don't follow La Liga, do you? Or the Portuguese national team, for that matter?'  
Jeff blinked a few times.  
'Are you talking about football?'  
A big grin spread over Cristiano's face. 'I am. Any assumptions yet? No? Okay then. You'll find out eventually. Let me just tell you there are a lot of issues that can be solved with money, and getting you medical care and new clothes here in my house without anybody getting to know about it, or you, is one of them. So just relax, will you? I'll be here with you the entire time and absolutely nothing will happen to you, and that is a promise, so do you trust me on this?

Do you?'

'Trust you?' Jeff asked, looking directly at Cristiano, and Cris nodded silently, suddenly realising that he might have gone too far or at least too fast.

'I couldn't answer that, to be honest. You might as well ask me about walking on water – I don't know what it feels like. I do know that I'm not as scared of you as I was yesterday, though.  
And I can't believe I've been here since yesterday.  
This is weird. Why are you doing all this for me? I'm basically no more than a stray dog that came to your property, you could've just sent me away or have called someone to handle this. I frankly caused you nothing but trouble, and yet you treat me like – '  
'A valuable human being?' Cris finished the sentence for him.  
Jeffrey remained silent now, so Cris went on.

'I'm glad you're at least less scared of me now. It breaks my heart, probably for like the seventeenth time since yesterday, that you've never experienced the feeling of trusting someone in your life. But you will still recognise this feeling once you've developed it.  
And you will.  
That is a promise, too.'

 

The next two hours passed with the doctor arriving first, bringing everything they needed to help Jeffrey's skin heal as fast as possible, making sure there were no infections and wouldn't be any in the future.  
Jeff got one of Junior's swimming trunks and was left alone to change into them and to take the bath. When the warm water with the medicinal herbs additioned to it flowed over his maltreated body, he couldn't hold in a whimper – it did hurt in the very first moment, but it got better very soon, and Jeffrey sank deep into the enormous tub and eventually relaxed. He stayed in there until he felt he was close to falling asleep, and he knew that that was dangerous, so he got out and wrapped himself in a big, soft towel. He then opened the door that led to Cristiano's bedroom. Cris was sitting in front of one of the giant windows, turning his head when Jeffrey came in.  
'How are you feeling?' he asked, 'better, I hope?'  
'I am. What happenes next?'

What happened next was that Jeff got some shorts that one of Cristiano's assistents had brought along with some more new clothes, and then the doctor was called in again.  
First he took a blood sample, and then he examined Jeffrey very cautiously, but still thoroughly, putting lots of antibiotic ointment on his injuries before bandaging them carefully, and Cris had to hold Jeffrey's hand when he started trembling from being touched nearly everywhere.  
When that was done, the doctor sighed and looked at Cristiano. 'I assume there might be some genital or anal injuries too from what you've told me. I need to have a look at them.'

Jeff backed away hastily.  
'No!' he cried out, 'please!'  
Cris reached out for his hand again, and Jeffrey let him take it. He was still shaking, though, and there were tears of fear in his eyes.  
'Please don't,' he whispered  
Holding that small hand, Cristiano gently pulled the boy towards him.  
' _Ouve-me, menino_ ,' he said quietly, 'I promised you nothing would happen to you, and I stand by it. We won't force you if you really don't want to, but I assure you the doctor will help you get better and get rid of the pain, plus I am scared you'll get an infection. I asked the doctor if he could just give you a shot, but he said we can't give you any medication before we have the results of your blood sample, so external treatment is the only way right now.  
Maybe it's not so bad after all and we won't need it, but we have to make sure, don't you think?'

 

Jeffrey tried to hold back a sob. 'I don't want this.'

'I know, _querido_ , I know that, and I totally understand it. It won't take long, and it won't be necessary ever again. Now let's just get this done, will you? I'll wait outside if you want me to.'

 

 

'NO!' Jeff screamed. ' _Não me deixe! _Please!'__

 

 

So Cristiano stayed, trying to comfort Jeffrey, while deep inside he wished for crying, throwing up, and punching someone in the face all at the same time.

For Jeffrey, it was hell. He was brave; he held still and he stayed quiet, but the expression on his face was something Cris would see in his nightmares more than once.  
It did not take long after all, and Cristiano sighed in deep relief when Jeff finally got to get dressed. His new clothes were some trousers made of a soft fabric, a cotton T-shirt and a flannel button-up. Wearing them and having his hair washed and combed now (it appeared to be straight and just a little too short to be tied together in the neck), Jeff was even prettier, except for the incredible pain in his eyes.

The doctor took off the gloves and then rubbed his face. 'You know my pledge of secrecy excludes everything having to do with child abuse, especially sexual abuse. As a matter of fact, I should either call child welfare or take this boy to the hospital myself. He would have needed stiches, more than once as it seems.

The only reason I'll let him stay here and won't tell anyone is that I've known you for many years, Cris, and I know for a fact that letting this boy stay with you is the safest way to get him to heal physically and emotionally. You just do what you're best at and take care of him, and we'll get the rest figured out when the time is right.'  
He held out a hand, and Cris shook it gratefully, tears in his eyes, but smiling.  
'Thank you so much, Mateo, I knew you were the right person to call! So is there anything that needs to be done now about those wounds or is it too late anyway or...?'

Mateo shook his head. 'I can't do anything about it. It'll heal eventually, just leaving more scars than necessary if that's the right word to use. We just need to give it time now. The bandages have to be changed twice a day and you should use the ointment every time you change them. Got it? Call me when you need anything!'  
He took Cristiano's hand once again.  
'You're a blessing not only to this boy, Cris.  
The results from the blood test will be there by Monday.  
Take care.'

\-----------------------------------------

Although it had been for his own good, for Jeffrey all this had been too much.

Mateo had already been gone for about half an hour, and Jeff was still sitting on the floor in Cris' bedroom, very faintly rocking himself, and he hadn't spoken a word since. That unsettling expression hadn't left his face, either. Cristiano was really worried. He had tried leaving the boy alone to give him some rest, but apparently that didn't work.  
So there had to be another way, Cristiano thought, and sat down on the floor right beside Jeff.  
'I'm sorry I put you through this,' he said quietly.  
'You know I only did it to help you, right?

God, I can only imagine how many times you must have heard something like “I'm sorry I did this, I didn't want this“ and then some lame excuse why it was for the best or your fault, this is so screwed up really!  
I do want you to heal, Jeffrey, I want you to get better and to never ever have to go through something like this again, do you believe me?'

It took Jeff some time, but he finally responded.  
The sound of his voice made Cristiano's heart tense up.

'I believe you. I know that you need treatment for injuries. I know you didn't like this either.  
It's just that I'm feeling like I've been shattered to pieces right now. I haven't quite figured out yet how to put myself back together. I am trying, though.

I don't understand this whole staff thing. Who was that Mateo and why won't he report me? And how do you have a guy who gets here within what felt like a couple of minutes with new clothes in my size? Are you some kind of celebrity or something?'

'Actually, I am, yes. I play football for Real Madrid, I guess you've heard of them. And I don't only play for the Portuguese national team, I am its captain.'

Now Jeffrey slowly turned his head to look at Cristiano.  
'What? Are you serious?'

Cris nodded and allowed himself to smile a little.

'Wow,' Jeff said, 'I didn't know that. Obviously.

I could get you in big trouble if anyone told that you let me stay here, couldn't I?  
People could accuse you of kidnapping, or worse, imagine some shitty tabloid writing about you keeping yourself a little boy toy or something!'  
He swallowed hard.  
'I will leave at night, if you agree to let me stay here till it's dark, so no one will see me, alright?'

 

'No.

You heard what Mateo said, your bandages have to be changed twice a day for at least a week. Who do you think is gonna do that if you leave tonight?  
Besides,' he continued before Jeff could say anything, 'you're not going anywhere, and no one will know or tell, this house is safe in every meaning of the word – expect for the hole in the fence, I admit, but I will have that taken care of, and I will thank God forever for that hole because if it wasn't for that you'd never have gotten here in the first place!

 

 

I will never let anyone ever hurt you again, and there is only one way I can make sure of that, you know.'

Now Jeff just stared at him, eyes wide and his mouth slightly open in disbelief.  
'What are you talking about?'

'You know damn well what I am talking about, _querido _,__ and there is no way you can make me change my mind.  
Well, only if you really do want to leave, that is, of course. I will not keep you here as a prisoner.  
But I also will not let you leave if the only reason you want to leave is that you believe I don't want you here or you don't deserve to stay here or some bullshit like that, got it?'

 

 

'W-wait, wait,' Jeffrey still struggled with what he had just heard, 'you're not actually seriously really suggesting that I stay here... with you?'  
Cris heard him gasp for breath when he answered: 'I am. Actually seriously really.'

'But your son! What will he – '

'He will love you,' Cris simply said.  
'And so will my husband.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter finally introduces Ricky, as well as Dolores and Junior.  
> I happily admit that I fell in love with Ricky a little while writing him ^^ (I can totally imagine him being like this, but please keep in mind that this is nothing but fiction after all.)

At noon Cris made lunch for the two of them. He used to joke around with his teammates about how bad of a cook he was, but the truth was not only did he love cooking, he was also eminently good at it.  
Not that Jeffrey had any particular demands on his food; he was grateful when he got anything to eat at all.

They were still sitting at the kitchen table, Cristiano's heart full of joy because Jeffrey was actually having his second refill, when they heard the front door opening and keys rattling, followed by Ricky's deep voice almost singing: ' _Marido _,__ I'm hooome!'

Cris indicated Jeffrey to stay where he was and hurried to meet Ricky in the hallway.  
There was the occasional hugging and kissing and the exchanges of 'I missed you' and 'good to see you again', and then Cristiano took a deep breath and looked Ricardo straight in the eye.  
'I need to tell you something, _amado _.__ Please don't freak out.'  
Ricky looked up at him, a big question mark written all over his face.  
Cris sighed. 'Can we sit down for a moment? On the terrace?'  
'Sure, if you let me wash my hands first and get myself a glass of water.'

'Right, you wash your hands and I get your water, okay? Let's meet outside.'

He went back to the kitchen and took a glass out of the cupboard, and right then Ricky turned up there, too. 'There wasn't any soap in the – ' he began, but interrupted himself when his gaze met Jeffrey. His brows went up in surpise. 'Hello,' he said, 'I'm sorry, I didn't know we had guests.'

Jeffrey stared back at him, biting his bottom lip and not knowing what to say.

Cristiano sighed again. 'See, this is what I was going to talk to you about. Join me, please?'

____ _ _

When they were sitting on the terrace, Cris allowing himself to enjoy the sun on his face for a second, Ricky was the first one to speak. He had trouble holding back a smile, his eyes always gave him away, and Cristiano loved that so much about him.  
'That was not Junior,' Ricky stated, his eyes almost radiating, and Cris finally let out a relieved laugh.  
'No, credits to you for noticing that,' and Ricky laughed, too.  
But then Cris' face became all serious again.  
'His name is Jeffrey, he is thirteen years old, and God, Ricardo, you wouldn't believe what that boy has been through. I spent the entire weekend so far in like someone else's nightmare. Or my own, maybe, because for him it's not even that, it's reality.  
_O meu Deus_ , I'm so glad you're finally here with me!' And all of a sudden Cris started sobbing uncontrollably, finally allowing himself to just let it all out.  
He was emotionally exhausted, and it felt so incredibly good to have Ricky hold him now, to hide his face in Ricky's neck, to breathe in his comforting scent, and to just know that everything was going to be all right because they were together.

When Cris finally regained control over himself, Ricky wiped the tears from his face and gently kissed both of his cheeks before looking at him.  
'So what do we do now? Call child welfare? Help that boy find a home ourselves? No, I know that look on your face, we ain't gonna call anyone, right? But I am right assuming that he doesn't have a family, yes?'

Cris took Ricky's hand and held on to it.  
'You are. That kid is so brave and so strong, there basically hasn't ever happened anything good to him, he doesn't even know what it feels like to be loved and protected, and I so wanna change that, Ricky, I've only known him since yesterday morning, but I already do love him, and I know that you will, too – '

Looking back at Ricky, Cristiano realised that his concerns regarding Ricky's reaction had been needless. He was overwhelmed yet again by how much he loved this man.

A very warm smile spread across Ricardo's face.  
'I know we 've been talking about a second child,' he said, 'but to be honest, I didn't actually expect you to get one while I'm away for the weekend.'

Cris laughed out loud, still tears in his eyes, then grabbed Ricky's face and kissed him until he had to catch his breath. 'I love you,' he panted between the kisses, _ _ _ _ _ _' _amo-te,_______ I love you so much', and Ricky, too, laughed while kissing him back.

 

'Okay, so,' Ricky eventually continued, 'he will stay with us, then. How do we do that? Signing in as foster parents? I have no idea how that works. Do we have to apply for that? Will we be checked or something?'

'Don't worry about that, we'll figure it out.  
It's a good thing though that you came home earlier than Junior, I needed to sort this out with you before telling him anything.'

Ricky nodded.  
'I'm dying to hear all about your weekend and about that boy, but speaking of him, I guess it wouldn't be much of a nice thing to do to let him wait in the kitchen all by himself for much longer, would it? Let's get back inside and you introduce me to him, will you?'

So they got up and went back into the house.  
Jeffrey was still sitting at the table in the kitchen, his fingers nervously fidgeting with his cutlery. He got up from his chair when Cris and Ricky approached him, looking at Ricky with big, cautious eyes.  
'You are the guy from the picture,' he said, and Ricky turned to Cristiano with a questioning expression on his face.  
'Yes,' Cris answered towards Jeffrey, 'he is. He's my husband for that matter. His name is Ricardo.  
Ricky,' he continued, 'this is Jeffrey.'  
Ricky put out his hand, but the 'Nice to meet you' got stuck in his throat when Jeffrey instinctively flinched.  
Jeffrey looked embarrassed right after it; of course Ricky had just meant to greet him, not to hit him, but he couldn't help his reflexes so far.

Meanwhile all cheerfulness had vanished from Ricky's face. Cristiano only needed one short look at him to know that even if Ricky hadn't agreed to keep Jeffrey here in the first place, this would have been the moment to change his mind.

'I'm very pleased to meet you, Jeffrey,' he said in such a soft voice that it touched Cristiano's heart, 'and welcome to our home. I hope it will become yours as well. I promise to do everything I possibly can to help you with that.

Now, I don't mean to be rude at all, but Cris and I have some things to talk about before our son comes home. Is there a way for you to entertain yourself so we can talk? Or are you not ready to be left alone for some time? That's fine, too, we'll find a way. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _'_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Before Jeffrey could answer, Cris stepped in.  
'First thing we have to do now is change your bandages. Ricky, will you get me the little box from the bathroom? Mateo left it here for us.'  
Ricky did, and when he came back Jeff had already taken off his shirts and Cris was busy removing the old bandages. Ricky handed him a pair of gloves. 'You should wear these, it helps preventing Jeffrey from getting infections.'  
Cris smiled lovingly at Ricky, then put the gloves on.  
While he took the ointment from the box, Ricardo came to have a proper look at Jeff for the first time.  
Jeffrey's eyes were drawn towards the floor.  
Ricky gritted his teeth but managed not to say anything. First thing he noticed were the bruises, those didn't need to be bandaged. But there was more. From what Ricky saw, Jeffrey had been beaten with all kinds of implements which had left many various injuries. It looked like he'd been cut and burnt as well. Those wounds were apparently the worst, and Cris applied the ointment as carefully as he could, fighting the urge to cringe every time he had to actually touch any of them.  
It surely hurt, but Jeffrey didn't make a sound. However, they could see the tendons on his neck standing out by the time Cris was finished, and his whole body was tensed up to the limit.  
Ricky was the one to put on the new bandages, very carefully, too, and while he was doing that he softly whispered to Jeffrey, just about loud enough that Cristiano could hear him: 'Every time we will do this it will hurt less. You've already overcome the worst part, from now on it will only get better, isn't that something?'  
Jeffrey gasped but didn't answer. He didn't have to, though.  
Finally Ricky was done and Jeff put his shirts back on.  
'Thank you,' he mumbled, failing to look at Ricky. 'I'm sorry, I am tired.'

Cristiano gently stroked his hair. It was wet from sweat, he noticed now. That gave away how much pain that procedure had caused Jeffrey.  
'Don't apologise, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __querido_. ________ Why don't you take a nap? Sleeping is the best thing to do to help your body heal, anyway. But this time you don't need to sleep on the couch. We have a nice guest room, you can stay there for starters. Come on.'

They went upstairs and Cristiano guided Jeffrey to the guest room.  
'The sheets on the bed are clean, you just hop in and make yourself comfortable. Ricky and I will be downstairs in case you need anything.'  
Jeff crawled into the big bed and Cristiano gently tucked him in. ' _Dorme bem_ ,' he whispered, and Jeffrey sighed and closed his eyes.

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Cris and Ricky sat down on the couch and picked up their conversation.

'You get why I want Jeffrey to stay, don't you?' Cristiano asked, and Ricky nodded.  
'Of course I do. God, all those wounds and scars on that little body... And yet this boy is so brave and just so... There is no way not to love him, is there?'  
Ricky inhaled deeply. 'There is just one thing I really hope you are aware of.

Jeff may have started to trust you, and that is wonderful, but it won't be all rainbows from here on now that he's once felt safe, it won't stay like this. That boy is severely traumatised. It's nice to imagine we could say “it's all over, from now on everything will be fine“, but it doesn't work like that, you know that, right?'

Cris hadn't actually thought about that. But, he had to admit, of course Ricky was right. The trauma itself didn't simply disappear just because its cause had. They'd need help from a professional therapist or something, he thought, but then on the other hand there would be another strange person who had to gain Jeffrey's trust, and that would be hard.

'Maybe we can get some counselling,' Ricky went on as if he had read Cristiano's mind, 'not for talking to Jeffrey himself, but for us to talk to, to help us learn how to act and react in certain situations, and how to help Junior understand and adjust as well.'  
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Cris couldn't help but smile.  
'Always the voice of reason, now are you?  
You're right, though.'

Ricky took Cristiano's hand and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles.  
'Of course I am.

Reason is not everything, though. It was certainly not reason that told us to take care of this child. It was emotion that made you wish for helping him recover, and to make him stay safe from now on.  
Having seen his body, I believe I can't even imagine how big his fears of people must be.

Now tell me everything, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __amado_.'___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And Cristiano did.  
He told Ricky how he had found Jeffrey and what had happened when he had taken him inside, what Jeffrey had told him about himself and his life, how he had fallen asleep on the couch, how Cristiano had held his hand and how it had come to Cris spending the whole night awake, holding Jeffrey while he was sleeping, how they had spent the morning, with Mateo visiting them (and what he had said about the boy's injuries), and finally how Cris had asked Jeffrey to stay with them.  
He also told Ricky what Jeffrey had said about trusting someone, and recalling that the boy didn't even know that feeling made him cry once more.

After he'd finished talking, Ricky kissed Cristiano's hand again.  
'You know as I always say what I love most about you is how you love yourself? Well, when it comes to loving others, you're being just as awesome with that, and I think I love that about you, either.'

Cris smiled through tears.

 

And then Dolores came in, bringing Junior back.

Before any of them could get up, Junior had thrown himself on the couch, hugging both his parents at the same time, using one arm for each and kissing them alternately.  
After a moment Cris gently took one of those little arms, gave it a soft kiss, and then placed it around Ricky's neck so they could hug properly and Cristiano could get up to greet his mother. He gave her a kiss as well and looked at her.  
'Good to see you both, I hope you had a great time!  
You don't happen to have some spare time for us? Ricardo and I have something to talk to you about. You and Junior, that is.'

He made some tea and they all sat down at the big kitchen table.  
Cris and Ricky exchanged a long look before Cris started talking.  
'I'll begin with you, _amado_ ,' he said while looking at Junior, 'I don't want you to get scared and we don't want you to feel excluded here because this issue concerns all of us.  
We have a visitor who is currently sleeping upstairs in the guest room. He's a thirteen year old boy whose name is Jeffrey, and he will stay with us for, well, for some time.

Pai and I have already made this decision, but only because we are sure that you will get along just great and that you will really like him.

If it turns out that that is not the case, I want you to come talk to us, you know that there is absolutely nothing in this world as important as you, right?'

Junior was all serious now, looking at his father with his big, innocent eyes, and Cristiano couldn't help but kiss him again. Once more, he was so overwhelmingly grateful for his child to be happy and safe.  
Said child nodded now. 'Yes. I know that. I want to meet him. When will he wake up?'

'We will see,' Ricky responded, 'now we just give him some rest. There is a little more you need to know about him, though, and it's not easy for us to tell you.'

Ricky took a very deep breath.  
'Do you remember how you told us about that boy from your school once? You said he had bruises and had explained that to you as that's what you get when you disobey your parents, and he was surprised when you told him you haven't ever been hit by yours.'

Ricky sighed. This was a very unpleasant memory, first because Junior had been so startled by the thought of there actually being children who were hurt by their own parents, they hadn't really known how to explain that to him, and second because there hadn't been anything they could have done for that boy; they had talked to the school's principal and he had said he didn't like this either, but the child was not in any kind of danger and it was up to the parents how they disciplined their kids.

Ricky had visited those parents, though, and he had been very clear about the fact that he'd pay them another visit if he ever saw any bruises on their son again, and that they would not like for him to show up again.  
So much for being the voice of reason.  
He hadn't told Cristiano about that.

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _s_______________ 'Well,' Cris stepped in and Ricardo was thankful for that, 'Jeffrey up there has experienced something even worse. He has been hurt by many people, and his parents didn't even care about that, they just left him because they didn't want him anymore.' 

Junior's eyes became so big they barely seemed to fit in his face anymore.  
'They what?? Parents don't do that! Parents are the ones who always stand by you, no matter what! You're not supposed to have parents and still be alone!'  
He was really upset, and Cris had to hug him very tightly to help him calm down.  
'I don't understand this, either, and it made me just as sad as you when I first heard it.  
It's the truth, though. Now Jeffrey didn't have a very happy life, do you understand that? And he – '

'Yes, yes,' Junior interrupted him, all excited now, 'I get that, you brought him here so that he can learn what real parents are like, right?'

This made them smile, but nevertheless Junior had to be prepared for living with Jeffrey, so Ricardo went on.  
'That is basically it, yes. But the main reason why we're telling you about this is that Jeffrey might sometimes behave in a way that you won't understand and that will probably even scare you. He is not a threat to you in any way, otherwise he wouldn't be here.  
He himself is more scared than anything else. Papá and I will do our best to help him overcome that, but it will take time.  
When there's ever anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, you come and tell us, promise?'

Junior nodded his head again. 'Promise.  
Can I watch some TV now?'

 

He seemed to cope really well with the new situation, but it was only all theory so far.  
Time would show how this would work out.

When Junior had put on his favourite cartoons, Cris finally looked at his mother.  
'I hope you don't think we're out of our minds for doing this. You will understand us as soon as you meet the boy.  
You don't think this is nuts, do you?'

Dolores gave her son a hug and a kiss on the cheek before replying: 'Have I raised you to only care about yourself and not about the people around you, especially when it's children? No, I have not! You feel for the people in need and do everything you can to help them, and that is exactly how I raised you!  
I'm so proud of you.

And I will do what I can to help.

If this ever turns out to be more work than you expected it to be and you want Junior out of this for some time, he can always stay with me, you know that, right? I can take him to school and help him with his homework, and you can take turns spending time with him at my place.  
I don't know if that will be necessary, but my offer stands just in case.

Now that Junior's occupied, can you tell me something about this Jeffrey?'

Cris did, and Ricky added his part, and then they both regretted it because Dolores cried almost as much as Cris had when Ricky had come home.  
When she had finally calmed down after two cups of tea and lots of hugging, she got up and took her car keys.

'Im going to tell Junior good-bye,' she said, 'I would love to meet this brave little boy, but I see that he has a lot to deal with, and meeting so many new people in just one day might be just too much for him. You call me when you think he's ready.'

 

After Dolores had left, Cris and Ricky snuggled up on the couch with Junior. They watched the cartoon together for a while, until they noticed that Junior didn't actually pay attention but seemed to be thinking about something. Cris turned the TV off and then looked at his son.  
'What is it, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __amor_? ________________ Do you have any more questions?'

Junior tilted his head. 'I don't know... I have to think about Jeffrey. I just don't get it! Has he been very bad so that his parents didn't want him anymore?'

Cris sighed. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _' _Querido_ , __________________what would that have been? How could a child be bad anyway? Do you believe there would be anything you could ever do to make me and pai stop wanting you?'

'No!' Junior responded without hestitating even a second, 'but... I just don't get it!'

'Me neither,' said Cristiano, 'honestly. I can't explain it to you because I don't understand it, either. I can only assure you that Jeffrey is not bad at all. You know, a child really couldn't be bad, and even if anyone says otherwise, it would always be the parents' fault, or whoever raised them. If pai and I treated you bad, we couldn't expect you do grow up to be a decent man, could we? It's not enough to expect a certain behaviour from your child, you have to show them by behaving like you want them to, right?'

Junior nodded, 'yes, like when you tell me to work hard in school, but you would do nothing to improve yourself at playing football, right?'

Cristiano smiled. 'Yes, like that.  
I don't know what happened between Jeff and his parents, I don't know what they did to him before they abandoned him, I only know very few about his life before and after he was left by his parents, but I do know that he must be like the strongest person I have ever met, because it seems like there haven't happened many good things to him ever, but he still came out of that as very caring and sensitive and someone who thinks of other people's needs before his own.  
Actually, honey, he seems not to think of his own needs at all, maybe he just believes he doesn't deserve it.  
But we know better, right? And we will help him realise it, too, alright?'

Junior held his little thumb up.  
'I'm in.'

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The very next second their conversation was interrupted by a loud and painful scream that came from upstairs. Cristiano jumped, and Junior grabbed Ricky's arm and held on to it. He looked scared now, and he started crying when the screaming continued.  
Ricky hugged him tightly and tried to comfort him. 'You don't have to be scared,' he said, his mouth close to Junior's ear, 'he's probably having a bad dream. It sounds horrible, I know, but he's just having a nightmare. Everything's fine, there is nothing actually happening, okay?'  
Junior nodded, but he wouldn't allow Ricky to let go of him.

Cris had already run upstairs as fast as he could, but when he reached the door to the room Jeffrey slept in, he stopped. Rushing inside would probably scare the boy even more. So Cristiano took a deep breath and then entered the room carefully and turned the lights on.  
Jeffrey hadn't woken up yet. He was flailing and kicking in his sleep, his blanket had already fallen to the floor, and he was crying and screaming 'NO, NO' over and over again.

Cris didn't have much time to think. He crouched down beside the bed and grabbed the boy by his arms, gently pressing him down, but before he could say anything, Jeffrey's eyes flew open. They were almost black with fear, and Jeff didn't look at Cristiano, his eyes were wide open but didn't seem to actually see anything. He didn't move at all anymore, just gasped for air and stared into the void without blinking.  
His eyes then slowly wandered to Cristiano, but there was no sign of recognition in them.  
'I won't... I won't struggle. I swear. Please just make it quick.'  
His voice hardly sounded like Cristiano knew it, and Cris realised that thinking wouldn't get him anywhere now. He just had to let his instincts take the lead, and so he did.

He took the blanket from the ground, wrapped Jeffrey tightly in it, sat down on the bed and pulled the boy onto his lap. He now noticed that Jeffrey didn't wear any pajamas, but still the clothes he had put on after Mateo had examined him, and he wondered for a second why of all things this was what occurred to him at this very moment.  
He held Jeffrey with one arm, his other hand cupped the boy's cheek.  
' _Olha para mim, menino._ Come on, you can do this, look at me, Jeffrey!'

Jeffrey flinched and moaned quietly, then blinked a few times. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  
______________________ Finally, his eyes met Cristiano's.

Cris felt a faint shiver and goosebumps spreading all over his skin. He could actually _see_ Jeffrey's eyes turn from that unsettling black back to his usual dark brown, and right then Jeff regained conciousness.  
He gasped for breath once and swallowed hard.  
'What – where – what,' he stammered, still panting.  
He squeezed his eyes shut again and wearily leaned his head on Cristiano's shoulder, and now Cris finally dared to hug him properly.  
'You had a nightmare, hadn't you?' he whispered.  
Jeff sighed deeply.  
'I don't know. Do you still call it a nightmare if the things you dream about have actually happened?'  
'Good question,' Cris replied, 'how about we focus on the fact that the nightmare is over and you're safe now, huh?'

 

Jeff nodded against Cristiano's shoulder. 'Yes, please,' he answered softly.

 

There was a faint knock on the open door, and when they turned their heads, they saw Ricky and Junior standing in the door frame.  
'He insisted on checking on you guys,' Ricky said, 'I was thinking that maybe we should let him.'

Cris got up, carefully putting Jeffrey on his feet. The blanket fell to the floor once again.

Junior and Jeffrey looked at each other, both very slowly taking a few steps forward.  
Junior then put out a small hand and smiled. 'Hi, my name is Cristiano dos... Cristiano Santos... Avei... I'm Junior.'

It took all their strength for Cris and Ricky not to crack up. Junior still struggled with his full name, but this really wasn't the moment for laughing.

Jeffrey was very serious. He took the hand that actually wasn't much smaller than his own and gently shook it.  
'I'm very honored to meet you, Junior. My name is Jeffrey.  
I'm sorry that I just came to your home like that without asking you first.  
And I'm sorry if I scared you, I just had a bad dream, everything's fine, though.'

Junior's smile got bigger. 'How could you have asked me, I wasn't even here.'  
Then he went serious, too.  
'It's okay, pai already told me. I'm sorry you had a bad dream. As you said, everything's fine now, right?'

Cris didn't feel like laughing anymore, he actually had to hold back the tears now. He was so incredibly proud of his little son.

Jeffrey and Junior were still holding each other's hands. And then Junior just took a step forward and hugged Jeffrey around the chest. He was only so much smaller than Jeff that his dark curls tickled Jeffrey's chin.  
Jeff was a little baffled at first, but then a warm smile spread across his face and he put his arms around Junior's shoulders.

Cris and Ricky looked at each other and knew that they were feeling exactly the same right now.

 

'It's about bedtime for me, too,' Junior finally said, 'how about I sleep with you? I never want to sleep alone when I had a bad dream.'

Jeffrey looked at Cristiano, his face a bit panicky, not knowing what to say. It was obvious that he didn't want Junior to stay with him, and Cris absolutely got why. And he agreed with Jeffrey.  
So he stroked Junior's hair and gently pulled him away from Jeffrey.  
'It's really nice of you to offer that, love, but you have school tomorrow, and I think you both will get a better rest sleeping in your own beds.  
Go brush your teeth and then pai or me will read you your bedtime story, alright?'

Junior gave Jeffrey one more warm look and then headed for the bathroom.

Jeff sighed deeply.  
'I'm still dreaming, right?'  
He flashed a tiny smile.  
'You guys just can't be real.'

______________________\--------------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The night passed off without any more unpleasant incidents._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And in the morning when Cristiano, Ricky, and Junior were having breakfast – Jeffrey was still sleeping and no one wanted to wake him since he needed all the sleep he could get – Mateo called.

'Good morning, Cristiano, I hope everything's going fine? I just called to inform you that I signed you off work for three days. I told your team I visited you on the weekend and you had a light flu and needed to stay home for a bit.  
The only lie about that is the flu, though.  
You do need to stay home with Jeffrey at least for a few days. I'll come by tomorrow to check on him. And I will bring the results from the blood samples then. Take care!'

And before Cristiano could even say anything, Mateo ended the call.  
Cris looked at Ricky. 'Mateo just informed me I had the flu and needed a few days off,' he grinned, 'so can you take Junior to school?'

Junior looked up from his porridge. 'Are you sick?'

Cris smiled again. 'I'm fine, love, I just need to stay with Jeffrey today, you see.  
Please don't tell anyone about him yet, can you do that? He needs peace now more than anything, and pai and I have yet to figure out how to make him legally stay with us.

Are you okay with him staying with us?'

Junior's brows furrowed. 'Of course I am! Where else should he stay? You said his parents didn't want him. But we do. Right?'

Cristiano kissed his son's forehead. 'We do.'  
He then looked at Ricky who gave him a loving smile.

'We do.'

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So Ricky took Junior to school before driving to work and Cristiano started working out at home.

Almost two hours later he took a hot shower and had a protein shake.

Since there was still no sign of Jeffrey, Cris went to check on him.

He knocked and got no answer, so he slowly opened the door.

The bed was empty, and so was the rest of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Cristiano's heart stopped for a second and then continued beating at twice its normal rate. Had Jeff woken up when Cris had been working out or been in the shower? Where had he gone, though? Had he changed his mind, had he run away? Cris broke out into a cold sweat. This was not good.  
'Jeffrey? _Menino! _'__ he shouted, looking around in the room again and then leaving it to search the rest of the house. He checked every room and then the garden, but Jeffrey was nowhere to be seen.  
Cris was panicking now. He ran up the stairs again to get his phone from his nightstand, he needed to call Ricardo, he couldn't do this alone, he desperately needed Ricardo by his side.

 

 

When he passed the guest room, he suddenly heard a faint noise. He couldn't really tell what is was, but it made him check the room again. It still looked empty. But Cris could hear heavy breathing now. It sounded like someone trying to breathe silently but couldn't because they were actually wheezing. It made Cristiano think of someone being in panic. And he could locate the sound now.  
He got down on the floor and took a look under the bed.  
And there was Jeffrey, lying on the ground, curled up in a ball, his arms covering his head just like when Cristiano had found him the first time.  
Only this time Jeffrey was awake. His eyes were wide open and filled with actual terror. He was trembling.  
Cris tried to make himself sound relaxed, although he was everything but that.  
'Hey, _menino _,__ what is it? Did you have another nightmare?'

 

Jeff didn't answer. And he didn't return Cristiano's look.  
He just kept shaking and gasping for breath. His hair was wet from sweat.  
Cris on the other hand suddenly felt cold.  
'It's okay, _querido _,__ it's over now,' he said in a voice that he hoped was calming, 'it's okay. Get out of there, will you? Come on.'

 

Jeffrey didn't react in any way, which was scaring Cristiano.  
So he reached out, carefully grabbed the boy by his arm and tried to pull him out from under the bed.  
Touching him, Cristiano noticed that not only Jeff's hair was wet from sweat, but the rest of him was, too. His clothes were soaked.  
Jeffrey didn't respond to the touch in the way Cris had expected him to.  
He curled up even tighter, and his panting turned into a sound somewhere between moaning and sobbing. He sounded like he was suffocating.  
Cris felt tears in his eyes. He didn't only see and hear the boy's pain, he could feel it. He needed to get him out of there, so he grabbed him again, firmer this time, and began to pull him towards the edge of the bed.

Jeffrey started struggling and kicking, and Cris was feeling more and more desperate. What the hell was he supposed to do, how was he supposed to deal with this?  
'Come on, Jeffrey,' he begged, 'just get out of there, everything's alright, just – '

Jeff's struggling intensified. He looked like he was fighting for his life. And then he started screaming.  
'NO, NO, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T, PLEASE!'

Cristiano immediately let go of him.  
He had no idea what to do.  
Should he force Jeffrey to get out? Should he leave him alone? Should he just sit here and wait until Jeff would calm down?  
There clearly weren't any more options, but Cris didn't like either of them.

He went with trying to talk to the boy again.  
'Jeffrey, love, please try and listen to me. I know you can't control this, but please let me help you!'

He reached out for him again, carefully this time, but all that got him was Jeffrey flinching hard and trying to push himself away with his legs.  
Jeff started sobbing violently now.  
'Please, _please _,'__ he cried, 'please don't, I can't do this, not now, please just give me one more hour – or thirty minutes,' he was desperately begging in a way that made Cristiano tear up, 'please, _ __senhor _,____ not just yet – '

 

Cristiano felt terrible for leaving Jeffrey all by himself like this, but there was no way for him to take this even one more second.  
He jumped to his feet and rushed out of the room. He ran downstairs and into his private gym, went straight to the huge punch bag hanging from the ceiling and started punching it with his bare fists and all his strength. He kept doing that until he felt pure agony in his hands and arms, and then he hugged the punch bag, leaned his head against the cold leather, and cried. His sobs made him shake and he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore.  
Cristiano felt so lost and incapable of dealing with this. How could he ever have believed he'd be able to do this, to save this kid who needed so much more than Cristiano could offer? The feeling of having failed broke his heart and made him cry even harder.  
He dropped down to his knees and buried his face in his hands.  
He couldn't call Ricardo; Cris was the one who had decided to bring Jeffrey into their lives, it was his responsibilty, and he couldn't make Ricardo solve all the problems he had caused.

 

Cristiano gritted his teeth and took a few deep breaths.  
This needed to stop, he told himself. There was a little boy crying his eyes out upstairs, and Cris wouldn't allow himself to let this child down like everyone else in his life had before.  
He got up, went to the living room, and took the picture of himself, Ricky, and Junior into his hands.  
Cristiano was blessed with this family, he couldn't ask for more happiness, there had to be a way to include Jeffrey in this, even if it would take a lot of time.  
Cris looked at Ricky's bright smile and instantly felt better, stronger, and then he looked at his happily smiling son and straightened himself.  
He had made a promise to himself, and he was not a man to break a promise.

So he wiped his face and went back upstairs and into Jeffrey's room. Jeff hadn't come out from under the bed yet, he was still curled up on the floor, but he was all quiet now except for the still heavy breathing.  
Cris inhaled deeply once more.

'Jeffrey,' he then spoke in a firm voice, 'you get out of there immediately, you hear me?'

He hated doing this, especially since he heard Jeff gasp at the commanding sound, but there was nothing else left for him to do to reach the boy.

'Now!' he shouted, and he could hear and then see Jeffrey crawl out.  
Jeff was trembling even more now, but apparently didn't dare to disobey. He didn't manage to get up, so he ended up kneeling before Cristiano, shaking so hard his teeth chattered.  
He tried to speak and Cris would have bet that he was going to apologise, but his voice didn't work, so he shut his mouth again and just stared at Cristiano, his eyes still full of fear and tears still streaming down his face.  
He wheezed harder by the second and Cris couldn't tell if he was rocking himself or if it was the trembling that made him to.  
He accidentally bit his lower lip and Cris could see blood dripping down his chin.

'Alright,' he continued in a now much softer voice, 'alright, we need to fix this now. I know you have no control over any of this, and I don't even know if you're understanding me right now. So I'm gonna ask you some simple questions and you will answer me, got it? You can nod or shake your head if you can't speak or don't want to.  
You got that?'

Jeffrey nodded his head, very slowly, but it was clearly nodding. His huge eyes didn't leave Cristiano for a second.

'Good,' Cris nodded, too, 'good, that's a start.  
Did you have a nightmare?'

Jeff shook his head.

'Why did you hide unter the bed then?'  
Cristiano cringed a little when he saw Jeffrey's eyes become even bigger.  
'I'm sorry, that was not a simple question.  
Did you hide from me?'

Now Jeff broke eye contact with Cris. He opened his mouth once again, but with the same result.  
So he very slowly nodded again and then immediately ducked his head. He clearly expected to be punished for having given the wrong answer.  
Cris felt like bolting again but fought that urge down.  
Instead he sighed deeply and backed off a little.

'Is there anything we can do to help you feel safe? Or safer at least?'

Jeff didn't respond, but his face went blank, which Cris counted as an answer as well.  
They were making progress after all, a blank expression on Jeffrey's face was better than the absolute terror.

'Think, please, and nod if there actually is anything, no matter what it is.'

Jeffrey's brows furrowed and he bit his still slightly bleeding bottom lip again, he looked like he was, in fact, thinking.  
Both of them only realised that he had been holding his breath when he suddenly inhaled in a loud gasp.  
His eyes went back up to meet Cristiano's, but before they reached them, Jeffrey's body went limp and just collapsed.  
Cris managed to jump forward and catch him before his head could hit the ground.  
Then he lifted the small body into his arms. It was cold and soaking wet. At least he could hear and feel Jeffrey breathe.

He put him back to bed, resting him on his side just in case, and then went to get his phone.

He sat down on the floor in Jeffrey's room; he noticed himself already referring to it as Jeffrey's room and not the guest room anymore; leaned his back against the wall and called Mateo. He wanted Ricardo here more than anything, but that had to wait.  
Fortunately, Mateo picked up after only a few seconds. Cris didn't even bother to say hello first.  
'Can you come? Please? This might be an emergency.'

Mateo didn't ask any further questions and arrived in less than twenty minutes.  
First thing he did was to check on Jeffrey.  
After that he was able to reassure Cristiano.  
'He is stable,' Mateo said, 'not in the best condition, sure, but not in any form of danger as well. And I have some more good news: According to his blood samples he is healthy. Severely malnourished, yes, but no infections, and,' he catched Cristiano's eyes now, 'no HIV. I was just about to say he was lucky, but of course he wasn't for the most part of his life.  
You and Ricky are most definitely the best thing to have ever happened to him.'

Cris burst into tears.  
'Thank you so much, Mateo! I'm so grateful you came, and for Jeff being healthy, and... and,' he sniveled, 'I don't know how to do this, I feel like everything I do is wrong and makes it all worse! I placed such an enormous burden on my family, and I feel so terrible for even thinking that! Jeffrey needs help, he deserves to be safe and happy, but how can I help him with that when I can't even comfort him when he's scared?'

Mateo gave Cris a long look before answering: 'Tell me what happened exactly.'

Cristiano did, interrupted by his own sobs every now and then, and Mateo listened.

'Well,' he then said, 'that sounds like a severe panic attack to me.  
You can't expect yourself to handle that the right way without having ever experienced it yourself or having talked to someone who has. You'll need to educate yourself on that topic because, I'm being honest with you, it will happen again.  
Don't be too hard on yourself, though. You had the best intentions, and fainting is a way to escape the panic after all.  
You'll learn everything you need to know, I have no doubt about that.  
But please, for the sake of not only that boy, but also of your own, get yourself some help! Go talk to a counsellor, a therapist, whatever, just have someone assist you and Ricky, don't underestimate living with a traumatised child. Also be aware of the effects it will have on your own state of mind.  
I can give you some names and numbers, promise me to contact at least one of them, will you?'

Cris nodded and wiped his face.  
'I promise.  
How bad is it what I did, though?'  
He had to suck in another sob.  
'Have I made Jeffrey lose all the trust he has built so far?'

Mateo sighed.  
'I hate to tell you this, but the truth is, Jeffrey hasn't built any trust at all so far. That takes way more time than only a few days.  
He's experienced one or two moments when he got a glimpse of what trusting someone might feel like, but you're still at the very beginning of your journey. '

'Okay,' Cris responded weakly.  
'Just tell me one more thing: If he has another of those panic attacks before I was able to talk to one of your professionals, what will I have to do? How do I handle it?'

'The best thing is to be prepared – both of you. Talk to him when he's calm and agree on ways to help him. Ask him what he needs to calm down, but never ask him while he's in the middle of a panic attack! He can't think rationally then anyway. Next time you share a quiet moment, talk to him. That's the only advice I can give you really, there's not the one and only way to deal with this because everybody experiences it differently, in their very own way. What helps one person to overcome the panic attack might be disastrous for another person.  
Talk to him.  
And to a counsellor.'

Cristiano nodded his head. 'I will. Thank you.  
What do I do now, though? When he wakes up?'

'Odds are that he will sleep for a little while now, a panic attack exhausts the body and mind. Let him. When he wakes up, offer your company without demanding anything.  
I'm sure that's what you'd do anyway, trust yourself a little more, you can do this.  
You can call me any time.'

 

After Mateo had left, Cris made himself some tea and sat down on the floor in Jeffrey's room again.  
Jeff slept for another hour.  
Then he opened his eyes and gazed at Cristiano, lying still and slowly pulling his blanket up to his chin that still had dried blood on it.

Cristiano returned the look and managed to smile.  
'Good morning. Or noon or whatever it is, I have no idea how late is to be honest.  
How are you feeling?'

Jeffrey blinked a few times and cleared his throat.  
'I... I believe I had a nightmare. I'm not sure. It's all a little blurry.  
What day is it? Don't you have to work?'

'Not today. It's Monday, but I got a few days off.  
Do you think you can get up? You might want to take a shower – or a bath, we still have some of the medical herbs left. And your bandages need to be changed.  
Are you hungry?'

'No,' Jeff replied, furrowing his brows, 'I don't think so.  
A bath sounds good, though.'

Cris saw his little nose crinkle.  
'I smell, don't I?'

'Well, you slept in your clothes. And you were sweating.  
I'll prepare your bath and you take your time getting out of bed, okay?'

That's what they did, and when the bath was ready, Cris helped Jeffrey to carefully remove the old bandages, brought him some of Junior's swimming trunks again and left him alone to change into them.  
While Jeffrey took his bath, Cristiano went to get new clothes for him. He knocked on the bathroom door before going in and then put the clothes on a stool next to the shower.

Jeffrey's eyes were closed and Cris could see beads of sweat on his forehead.  
Cris just stood there and watched the boy, trying to get a grip on his feelings.

The desire to protect him was stronger than anything else.  
He wouldn't ever give up on this child.

'How about I wash your hair?' he asked in a soft voice.  
Jeff didn't open his eyes, but he answered: 'Okay.' It was hardly more than a whisper, but Cris had heard him.  
So he took the shampoo bottle, poured some of the clear liquid into his hand, and started to wash Jeffrey's hair.  
There wasn't any tension in the boy's body, even being touched didn't change that.  
So Cristiano finally dared to adress the latest event.

'May I ask you something?'  
Jeff didn't speak, but Cris could see and feel him nod under his fingers.

'You had a panic attack, hadn't you? Does that happen often?'

Jeff inhaled deeply.  
'Sometimes. It depends.'

'I see. Is there anything you know about that helps you calm down when it happens? Has anyone ever been able to help you with that?'

Now Jeffrey tensed up a little, but kept his eyes closed.  
'You want me to tell you what other people did when I was like this?'  
He didn't wait for Cris to reply.  
'This has happened a few times when I – I wasn't alone.  
I don't always remember everything afterwards.  
I do remember one time, though, it's not that long ago.'

Cris had stopped washing Jeff's hair, just made sure no shampoo got to the boy's eyes.

'I'll tell you about it, okay?'

There was a noticable change in Jeffrey's voice.  
'There was this guy once who took me home with him. I didn't wanna go, I had rather spent the night outside as I used to, but he made it clear that he wouldn't take no for an answer. So I went with him, and when we were at his place he told me to undress right away, and suddenly I couldn't move anymore, and then I couldn't breathe anymore, either, I started shaking, and he hit me in the face and yelled at me for disobeying. He hit me again and again until I was on my knees on the floor, and then he grabbed my hair and made me look at him. I was wheezing so hard that my vision was blurred and I could hardly understand him, but I somehow got that he wanted me to – '

'STOP!' Cristiano shouted, and Jeffrey flinched hard at the sound. Cris managed to cover the boy's eyes from the shampoo and then began to rinse Jeffrey's hair with water from the tub.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I'm a coward, I'm supposed to listen to you, you deserve someone who listens to everything you need to talk about, I'm just... just... I just can't...' He tried to fight back the tears and failed.  
'I'm so pathetically weak compared to you, you survived all this and I can't even listen to it – I'm so sorry, _menino _– '__

 

He was suddenly interrupted by Jeffrey coughing. He now realised that he hadn't paid attention while pouring water from his cupped hand over Jeff's head, and water and suds were streaming down Jeff's face and into his eyes and mouth.

' _Meu Deus _,__ I'm so sorry _ _,_ foda-se _,__ I'm such an idiot! Let me get the suds out of your eyes! There.'

 

He took the shower and carefully rinsed all the suds off of Jeff's face and out of his hair.  
'Is this better? Are your eyes okay?'

Jeffrey nodded his head.

'You sure? I'm really sorry.  
About the shampoo in your face and about interrupting you.'  
He took a deep breath.  
'Go on. I will listen.'

But Jeffrey didn't. He had dropped his gaze and started rubbing his hands in the water as if they were dirty. His body had tensed up and was very slightly trembling, although the water was still hot enough to make the windows and the huge mirror in front of the bathroom sink all steamy.

Cris combed Jeffrey's hair with his fingers. The longer he kept doing that, the more tension visibly left the boy's body.

'You don't have to tell me any more of course. Please just keep in mind that you can always talk to me, I won't be this insensitive again.

Whatever it is that that bastard did to you, I'm guessing it did not help you in any way.'

Jeff had closed his eyes again, which Cristiano counted as progress.

'So let's please try and find something actual helpful for me to do when that panic gets to you next time, okay?  
Do you want me to leave you alone or to stay with you? Can I touch you? Should I talk to you?'

Jeff inhaled shakily. Cris could see that it took him some effort to answer.

'I'm not sure,' he finally said, 'maybe we'll just have to find out. I mean, your company soothes me, but when I... I psyche out, I can't think straight anymore. I guess... I think I'd want you to stay with me? And to talk to me, as long as you're calm yourself. Just... tell me what to do. Don't ask me any questions then, I think I'll feel more secure if you just take the lead, you know?  
On the other hand – that's what the others did, of course, but not in the same way, not –'  
He sighed.  
'I don't know how to explain this. You'll get to me by raising your voice and giving me orders, yes, but it...  
It scares me.'  
His voice was hardly more than a whisper now.  
'Could you just talk to me like you do when I cry? Tell me I'm safe and everything will be alright? I might not be able to believe you then but hearing it does help a little.  
Also looking at you does. If I can bring myself to, that is.'  
He huddled his head against Cristiano's hands a little.  
'I think you can help me with that by touching my face. Only my face, don't grab or hug me, but when your hands are all gentle like when I woke up from my nightmare, and your face is close to mine so I can see your eyes – I'm not making any sense, am I? Sorry, I'm being silly.'

He affected a little laugh, trying to play down what he had said, but it sounded more like a sob to Cris.  
'You're not being silly, and you are making sense. Very much so. I think I got what you mean, and I will remember it.

Your hair is all clean now. You wanna get out of the tub and we get you some ointment and new bandages on? Clean clothes as well? And then I'd like to tell you what Mateo said about the results from your blood sample.'

Jeffrey almost jumped at these words, and Cristiano instantly regretted what he had said. So much for not being insensitive again.  
'You're fine,' he hurried to add, 'don't worry, okay? I'm sorry. You're fine! You're fine.'  
Jeff let out a weary sigh.  
'Okay. Okay,' he was audibly out of breath and Cris realised how much he had scared him. Again. Evidently. He really needed to work on his cautiousness in this special case. He promised himself to call one of the counsellors Mateo had recommended to him.

 

When he put the ointment on Jeffrey's skin a bit later, another question came to his mind. He was standing behind Jeff so that the boy couldn't see his face, and Cris felt silly for being kind of encouraged by that.  
'How come me caressing your hair seems to soothe you? You don't have to answer, but if you do I promise I will listen.'

Jeff thought about that for a while.

'I think it's because I don't associate it with anything bad. Until now hardly anyone has ever touched my hair in a gentle way, they only grabbed me by it or pulled it, you know? I mean, some men stroked my hair while I...' he interrupted himself by sucking in a breath and Cris admitted to himself that he was thankful for that, 'but it was always in a... violent way, it wasn't exactly gentle, and most of the times it hurt.  
So if you caress my hair, I feel comfortable with it, it's kind of new to me and doesn't scare me.  
And it feels good,' he added, and Cris could hear the very tiny smile in Jeffrey's voice.

'I'm amazed at how aware you are of your feelings and of what causes them and why. I have no idea how you do that, though, but I am impressed.  
And I highly appreciate it because it'll hopefully help me to understand your feelings better as well.  
Hand me over the box with the new bandages, will you?'

 

When they were done, Jeffrey got dressed and dried his hair with a towel.  
'I won't force you to eat if you don't want to of course, but are you sure you're not hungry?' Cris then asked. 'You need to strengthen your health, Mateo said that, too. You're healthy after all, don't get me wrong, but your blood samples showed how badly nourished your body has been for a long time. You need nutrients to recover, and to stay healthy as well. Will you let me make you some breakfast? Please?'

Jeffrey flashed Cristiano a tiny little smile again.  
'I am hungry. I didn't feel like eating before, but I'm better now.'  
He shot Cristiano a look before quickly averting his gaze again.  
'Thank you.'

\----------------------------------------------

Despite having started so unpleasantly, the day turned out to be a good one after all.  
Cristiano cooked for the two of them, and they did some online shopping together to get Jeffrey more clothes.  
Cris really enjoyed that. He had a good eye for what kind of clothes would suit Jeffrey, and Jeff seemed all relaxed and content.

 

'Junior has a game tonight,' Cris said eventually, 'he plays football, too. I promised him to be there, so Ricky will stay with you, are you okay with that?'

Jeffrey nodded. 'Sure. He seems nice. Well, I guess he must be since you married him.  
Who's been the one to propose?'

Cris chuckled a little.  
'He has. Including candles, roses, kneeling and everything.'  
The memory made Cris smile, and he felt tears in his eyes, but he managed to blink them away.

'Was that before or after Junior was born?' Jeffrey continued to ask.

'It was before. We knew he was on the way, and we wanted everything settled before his birth so Ricky would be able to adopt him right away.'

'Adopt him?'

'Yes. You know that Junior is my biological son, not his, right? That doesn't matter, don't get me wrong, he's our son after all, but Ricky adopting him was necassary so Ricky could be his legal guardian, his parent, you know?'

Jeff looked at Cristiano.  
'Is it important to you that you and Junior are the ones to be related by blood? I mean, would it make a difference to you if Ricky was instead of you?'

Cris had to think about that for a little while.  
'It was in the beginning. I mean, I always wanted to become a father at the age of twenty-five, Ricky knew that, and he didn't seem to disagree with me being the one to be the biological parent.  
Of course it's nice to see how much Junior looks like me, and to find little things of myself in his appearance or his behaviour, it really is.  
But I also see how much Ricardo loves and adores him, it doesn't make a difference to _him _,__ and Junior loves us equally anyway.  
I think if we had another child and Ricky was the biological parent, I'd love them just as much, so no, it doesn't really make a difference I guess.'

 

Jeff sighed quietly, turned away from Cris, and looked at his hands.  
'How can Ricky consider a child his own that's not even related to him and love them so much, and my parents couldn't even love their own child?  
Couldn't they find anything of themselves in me? Or only the wrong things? I know I am different – do you think I was right from the start? Have I disappointed them, and that's why they couldn't connect with me?'

'Ricardo and I connected with Junior when we saw the first sonogram. When he arrived, we were so incredibly happy. We loved every single detail about our son – his eyes, his smile, his little hands and feet, I could go on forever about this.  
I know that parents sometimes struggle with that. There is postpartum depression and all kinds of other issues that can make it hard for someone to love their child.  
But that's always, without exception, something the parents suffer from. It never has anything to do with the child.  
_Querido _,__ the only thing I noticed about you being different is how amazingly strong and loving you are, despite everything you've been through.  
There's nothing wrong with you.'

 

Jeffrey inhaled shakily.  
'It's nice of you to say that. But it's not true. I know that. And if I stay with you a little longer, I'm afraid you will notice, too.'  
His voice broke at the last words.  
'You've been so good to me, I feel like you actually care for me, I'm so scared of the day you'll find out what's wrong with me, and why no one ever wanted me,' he sucked in a sob, hugged his bent legs, and hid his face in his arms.

'No, _querido _,'__ Cristiano whispered, 'that's not going to happen.  
I don't expect you to believe that now, but we will prove it to you, you'll see.'  
He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the boy's neck.  
'It's not true that no one wants you.  
We do.'

 

Jeffrey slowly lifted his head and wiped his cheeks with his sleeve.  
'I'm sorry I cried again. Please just forget what I said.'

It was obvious that he actually didn't believe Cristiano, but he didn't seem to want to talk about it anymore.  
So Cris changed the topic.

'Until everything is settled, I think it's best you stay here, but some time soon you might want to join us when Junior has a game? Or would you like to do any sports yourself? Have you ever played football?'

Jeffrey's eyes were fixed on his hands again. He didn't exactly frown, but he looked serious and somehow hopeless.  
'I suggest we don't think about these things while we don't know how long I'll be staying here.  
Even if you wanted me to, how are we supposed to know if you'll be allowed to keep me?

I... I didn't really think about all that in the beginning, I assumed you were just trying to cheer me up, and Ricky went along with it. To be honest, this is the first time since I've come here that my brain seems to work properly. I can't... trust myself sometimes. Or pretty often. This is just...'  
He stopped, and then gasped for breath.  
'There is no way this is gonna work! You can't just pick up a kid from the streets and then keep them, and it doesn't matter if I want to stay with you, nobody's even gonna ask me!'  
He gritted his teeth and started rocking himself, 'no one has ever asked me what I want except for you, they'll come and take me away, they'll put me in a... shelter!'

Cris managed to stay calm. He layed a hand on Jeffrey's back.  
'It's called a home, and that is because it's supposed to be a home for children who don't have one. And – '  
'No, no,' Jeffrey cut him off, 'I've been to a few, they're not homes, they're prisons! They're even worse, I can't go back there!'  
Cris could hear the rising panic in his voice.  
'God, how could I ever believe it'd be that easy? This is not some kind of fairytale, real life doesn't work like that! What if Mateo reported me? What if Junior told his teachers about me?'  
He jumped to his feet, looking around like a captured animal.  
'They could be here any minute!'

'Whoa, Jeffrey, stop!'  
Cris grabbed him by the arm and gently pulled him back onto the couch.  
'No one is coming for you, calm down! I give you my word that Mateo didn't report you, I absolutely trust him! And even if Junior told anyone about you, and I doubt he did, that doesn't mean someone is coming to take you away. His teachers would call me first to ask me about what he said.  
Calm down, will you?' He put one arm around the boy's shaking shoulders and cradled him.  
'It's important that we will be the ones to make the first step when it comes to making you legally stay with us, yes, but we will, and it will be all right.'

Jeffrey leaned against Cristiano and tried to steady his breath.  
'How could you know?'

'I just do. There is no reason for the authorities not to give permission for you to stay here. And we have very good lawyers. It will be all right.'

Jeff sighed heavily. 'Are you really sure you want this? Going through all that trouble only for me? What makes you think you won't regret that some day?'

'Having children is not always easy. It's still the best thing in the world, though. And only because your parents regretted having you, that doesn't mean we will, too.'  
He felt Jeffrey tense up and suddenly wished to punch himself.  
' _Foda-se _,__ Jeffrey, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry! Please forget what I said, it was stupid and insensitive!'  
He kissed Jeffrey's hair. 'I'm glad you're here with us, I really am! And Junior is totally fond of you!

 

 

_Vai ficar tudo bem. _'__


	4. Chapter 4

'Okay, are you ready to go? You got everything? _Vamos _!'__

Cris and Junior left for Junior's game, and Ricky and Jeff were alone.  
Ricky was a little nervous because he knew Jeffrey wasn't as comfortable with him as he was with Cristiano, but this was an opportunity to change that.  
Although they didn't get to spend much time together, anyway, because Jeffrey got tired pretty early.  
So after supper Ricky changed his bandages and suggested he'd go to sleep. Jeffrey agreed, already yawning.  
He fell asleep almost instantly, and after having watched him for a little while, Ricky went back downstairs to read his emails.  
He checked on Jeffrey occasionally, just in case, but the boy seemed to be sound asleep.

Until Ricky came to check for the third time. He sensed something was different before he even entered the room.  
The sun was still shining, so he didn't need to turn the lights on.

Ricky saw Jeffrey faintly writhing in his sleep and heard his quiet moans.  
He would have called for Cristiano, but Cris wasn't here, so Ricky had to handle this. He just hoped that the nightmare would go away, but apparently it wouldn't since Jeff started flailing and making noises that sounded like he was in pain.

Ricky gritted his teeth. What was he supposed to do? He didnt know if it was a good idea to wake the boy up, but on the other hand he couldn't bear seeing him like this.  
So he very carefully touched Jeffrey's upper arm, and he hadn't expected at all what happened next.

Jeffrey jolted up, noticed the hand on his arm in less than a second, and screamed 'NO!' while simultaneously hitting Ricky in the face with one hand. It didn't seem like purpose, though, Jeff didn't even look like he was really awake yet, but he came to be in the exact moment when Ricky backed away, stumbled, and sat down on the floor hard, one hand pressed against his bottom lip where the back of Jeffrey's hand had struck him.

That hand now covered Jeffrey's mouth while the boy looked at Ricky with huge eyes.  
'Oh... oh my God,' Jeff stammered, 'I didn't... please forgive me, I don't know how that could happen, I didn't mean to – God, I'm so sorry, please, are you all right? I really didn't – '  
Ricky raised a hand to make Jeffrey stop. The boy looked terrified, as if he expected Ricky to take revenge on him.  
'Calm down, will you? It's alright, I'm fine, I know you didn't mean for this to happen.'  
Jeff grabbed his blanket and pressed it against his chest. He was trembling.  
'Those fucking nightmares,' he sighed, 'I wish they'd just stop.'  
Ricky got up. 'Me too, _menino_ , believe me. But they will eventually, just give it time.

 

Do you want to tell me about them?'

Now Jeffrey's eyes met Ricky's for the first time.  
'Tell you? Isn't it obvious? Do you think there's any use in talking about it?'

'Sure there is,' Ricky responded, 'that is, if you feel okay with it. Maybe if you talked about it while being awake you wouldn't have to deal with it in your sleep every night. But that's up to you, of course. I'm here to listen is all I'm saying.'

Jeffrey clenched his hands into fists, still holding on to the blanket.  
'I don't know. What you're saying sounds reasonable. But... I don't know. I'm scared if I tell you, you will look at me as... It makes me look like... But maybe that's the whole point, maybe I _am_ – ' he stopped and sighed again.

 

 

 

 ______'______ Okay,' he then continued, 'I will tell you something.

One of the times I got caught by the police, they took me to a... home where there was some kind of counsellor who was supposed to help the traumatised children there open up and heal, you know?'

Ricky nodded silently.

'I went to talk to him, well, I had to, there wasn't much of a choice, I didn't actually talk much, but he asked me a lot of questions. At first I thought that was normal, but I had a bad feeling about it, and the questions somehow got weirder while the guy's behaviour towards me did, too. After a while he wanted me to tell him about my... experiences, you know,' he took a very deep breath and stared at his still clenched hands, 'about how I was... how those men...'

Ricky felt the strong urge to stop Jeffrey there, but he understood that the boy needed to talk, and although it was hard, Ricky knew he had to be strong now, so he just stayed quiet and kept listening.

'I asked him why he wanted to know about that,' Jeff went on, 'but he said he was the one to ask the questions and I should be a good boy and do as I was told. He asked pretty specific questions then, about what had been done to me and how, and how I had felt about it.'  
A single tear rolled down Jeffrey's cheek. He didn't seem to notice.  
'By that time I figured what that was all about, and that there was no way escaping it. I said it felt horrible, and it hurt, and I was scared and I couldn't defend myself, but he shook his head and said he believed I was lying. He then began to stroke my face and said: “Don't you like this if you're truly honest with yourself? Isn't that the reason why you always get yourself in situations like that? Isn't this the only thing you're good for?“'  
Jeff sucked in a sob. 'You know, he was a professional children's therapist or whatever you call that, his job was to take care of traumatised children, to make them feel better, to help them heal, why would he ever take advantage of one? That's just not normal!“

Now Ricky allowed himself to speak. 'You're completely right,' he replied, 'that is everything but normal, it's horrible!“

'See?!' Jeff suddenly shouted, 'so you agree with me, I knew that!'  
He was crying now.  
'I was so scared of the moment one of you or you both would realise it – anyway, I knew the time would come, I should be grateful for the days it lasted, I – '  
He suddenly fell silent when he saw Ricky's face.

'You wanted me to tell you, so I will.'  
He was all quiet and serious now, and there was so much pain written all over his face that Ricky felt a lump in his throat.

'I'm sure he hadn't ever done that to another kid before. It was me. Like you see now, that made me realise that there is something wrong with me, just like my parents said. Nobody seems to be able to be around me without coming to feeling the urge to... hurt me. And maybe it's never them, it's just me.  
It's me.'

More tears were now streaming down his face. He bit his lower lip but didn't make a sound anymore.

Ricky sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face with both hands.  
He had known that it wouldn't be easy, that there were bad days to come, but he hadn't expected this.  
'I would love to hug you right now, but I don't want to scare you. Is it okay for you if I just hold your hand?'  
He put his hand on the sheets next to Jeffrey, palm up, careful not to touch him, making clear that this was only an invitation.

Jeff looked at the hand for a while, then slowly reached out and placed his small hand into Ricky's.  
Ricky held it as gently as he could, gingerly stroking its back with his thumb.

 ______'______ Are you listening to me, _menino_?'

Jeffrey nodded his head, looking at Ricky for a short time and then looking away repeatedly as if he didn't dare to meet his gaze.

'There seems to be a big misunderstanding here.  
When I said it wasn't normal for a counsellor to act like that I meant him not being normal, not you! I know it's hard for you to understand that right now, but as Cristiano told you, none of what happened to you has ever been your fault. It's NOT you! It never was! And we will keep telling you that until you'll be able to believe it, alright?

The only things we realised about you is that you are kind and brave and incredibly strong, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!'  
Jeffrey noticed that Ricky used almost the same words as Cristiano had before.  
'Neither Cris nor I ever felt the urge to hurt you, and we never will! All we want is to protect you, to really help you heal. We know that it will take time, but we can do this, okay? Together.  
I wish for you to never be afraid of telling us whatever you need to talk about. We will listen, always, and there is nothing you could ever say that would make us change our feelings towards you.

 

We will not leave you, Jeffrey.'

Jeff wiped his face with his sleeve and then cautiously looked at Ricky again.  
'I wouldn't mind you hugging me now,' he said feebly, and Ricky was more than happy to comply.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

'May ask you something?' Ricky requested after he had held Jeffrey for a little while.

Jeff seemed a bit sleepy already, but nodded his head against Ricky's chest.

'I've been wondering about this... well, since I met you basically, or since Cris has told me about your life.  
It's fine if you don't feel like talking about your childhood, but I'd like to know... Has there ever been someone who cared for you? Who showed you some love and affection? Because... well, if you grew up with no love and care at all, it'd be really a miracle for you to be so loving and caring yourself, you know what I mean? Where did you learn that?'

'I had a nanny,' Jeff mumbled drowsily. 'She basically raised me, but she left when I was about six. Her name was Gaby, and if anyone ever loved me, it was her. I was so sad when she left. My parents said a six year old boy didn't need a nanny anymore, so she had to go.  
I believe she went back to... I don't even know where she was from. But she taught me Spanish. And she cared for me.'

His body rested heavily against Ricky's chest and Ricky could feel the deep breaths.  
He kissed the boy's hair and whispered: 'I'll let you sleep now. Hopefully there will be some pleasant dreams for you this time.'  
Ricky gently put Jeffrey back to bed and tucked him in, then kissed his forehead before he quietly left the room.

He checked his emails once more, and this time he found a message he'd been waiting for for weeks, a message that made him incredibly happy – and that changed everything.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\-----------------------------------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________'__________ We won!' Junior screamed while running towards Ricky to hug him, 'and I scored twice!'

'That's great, _amado_!' Ricky smiled and kissed his son's curls.  
'I'll be there next time, promise. Are you hungry?'

'No, papá and I already had something on the way.'  
He suddenly yawned, and Cris, who had come inside behind him, smiled and ruffled Junior's hair.  
'I suggest you take a quick shower and then go right to bed, you really earned your rest, don't you think?'

Junior nodded and headed for the bathroom.

After he had left, Ricky looked up at Cristiano and reached out for him with one hand.  
'Sit with me, will you? We need to talk.'

Cris took Ricky's hand and then sat down beside him.  
'That sounds serious. What happened? Is Jeffrey okay?'

'He is,' Ricky replied, 'don't worry. He had another nightmare, but I handled it. I hope. He's been asleep for some time.

Cristiano, I got an email from the agency.  
The fertilisation was a success, the surrogate is pregnant with twins. She's fourth month in actually, they wanted to make sure everything was going alright before they told us, just like we asked them to.  
It's a boy and a girl.'

He felt tears in his eyes, but ignored them.  
'We're gonna be parents again, _namorado _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.__________ Junior's gonna be a big brother.'

Cris was too overwhelmed to say anything.  
He just grabbed Ricky's face with both hands and kissed him until they both needed to catch their breath. He was crying, and Ricky didn't blame him.

After a while Ricky took his husband's hand again and looked him in the eye.  
'I couldn't be happier about the news, but we need to talk about what we're going to do now.'

'Do? We'll tell Junior tomorrow and then Dolores and have a big party, that's what we're gonna do!'

'What about Jeffrey?'

Cris raised his brows. 'Yes, of course, we're gonna tell him too, sorry, I still need to get used to incl – why are you looking at me like that?'

Ricky sighed deeply.  
'That's not what I meant. We need to think about how this is gonna work. We need to get everything settled as soon as possible, and – are you sure we can do this? With two babies in the house? Can we give everyone the attention and care they need?'

'It's going to be about half a year before the babies will be born. Things can change a lot in half a year.  
We can't know for sure of course, but what exactly are you suggesting here?'

'I'm not suggesting anything,' Ricky said calmly, 'I'm just saying we need to consider everything and then make a decision.'

'Decision?'  
Cris tried to pull his hand out of Ricky's, but Ricky wouldn't let him.  
'What do you mean, decision? What shall we decide? Whether we let him stay or send him away?'

Now Ricky was the one to let go of Cristiano's hand.  
'You think I'm honestly suggesting to have him being abandoned once more? You should know me better, you really should!'

Cris grabbed Ricky's hand again. 'I do! I'm sorry I said that, I do know you better, that's why I was confused by what you said.  
I'm sorry, _amado _.  
__ What _are_ you suggesting then?'

 

Ricky sighed again.  
'We have a lot to think about now. We need to make Jeffrey legally stay with us, let's please call one of our lawyers first thing in the morning. We'll definitely need help and advice from a counsellor. And we need to take care of all that, not just talk about it!'

'We will!' Cris reassured him, 'of course we will. I'll make some phone calls tomorrow – first thing in the morning, I promise. We'll handle this, and I'm not just saying that!'  
He looked straight at Ricky and a teary smile spread across his face once more.  
'We're gonna be fathers again, Ricardo. We're gonna have twins, two little babies, and one of them will look like you.'

Ricky's face went blank.  
'You're... you're right. One of them has my genes. _Meu Deus_ , Cristiano, how on earth did you not freak out when you knew Junior was on the way??'

Cris chuckled. 'I totally did, don't you remember?'

'Oh, I do,' Ricky said, and they laughed together, and then they cried together.

'Everything will be all right,' Cris whispered while hugging Ricky tightly, 'we can do this. We've got each other, and together we can do this.  
_Vai ficar tudo bem _.  
__ I promise.'

Ricky hid his face in Cristiano's neck and smiled through tears.  
'You've been promising a lot lately.  
Lucky me you never break a promise.'

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Junior went to bed after his shower, and after his parents had kissed him good-night he fell asleep almost instantly, exhausted from his game and the excitement over the win.

Cris and Ricky went to bed, too. There would be a lot of work to do the next day, so they could use the rest.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________\--------------------------------------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The next morning Cris, Ricky, and Junior had breakfast together before Ricky and Junior had to leave for work and school.  
When they had finished eating, Cris and Ricky looked at each other and then at Junior.  
'Don't get up just yet,' Cristiano said, 'pai and I want to tell you something.'

Junior raised his brows.

'Well,' Cris took a deep breath, 'I hope this isn't too much now that we just had the situation of our family changed.  
In a about six months our family will be even bigger.  
Pai and I are having twins. A boy and a girl.  
You're gonna be a big brother, _amado _.__ What do you s – '

 

He couldn't finish his sentence because Junior had jumped up from his chair and thrown his arms around his father's neck.  
'Oh my God!' he screamed, 'are you serious, twin babies, I'm gonna have a little brother AND a little sister, this is the best day of my life, I need to tell every – '  
He went quiet for a moment.  
'Am I allowed to tell anyone? Or is it a secret too?'

 

'No,' Ricky replied, 'it's not, you may tell your friends. But it'll be another six months before they will be born, so you'll have to be patient.'  
A big teary smile spread across his face, and when Junior was done hugging Cris he went over to Ricky, put his arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.  
'I'm getting three siblings at once, today just couldn't get any better!'

 

Cristiano and Ricky exchanged another long look.  
They knew they were both thinking the same right now: Junior had said siblings and had meant not only the twins, but also Jeffrey.  
So the decision was definitely made.

 

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________\------------------------------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ricky and Junior had been gone for a while, and Cris had been sitting at the breakfast table, drinking another cup of tea and allowing himself to just enjoy the warm feeling of content which the morning had left.

Then he finally got up, put the dishes in the dishwasher, and got on his phone to call one of their lawyers.

 

'Hi, I'll make it short: A few days ago I found a boy in my yard, he's been living on the streets for several years, and we want to keep him.  
How do we do that?'

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They had a long talk, and Vera, Cristiano's lawyer, told him a lot about the Spanish foster system.  
'You need to be registered as foster parents first, which means you have to apply and then you'll be checked,' she said, 'the first problem is that you usually have to be a Spanish citizen, which you aren't. I don't know if it's different when the child isn't either. Also, the fact that the kid is already staying with you won't make it any easier to be honest.  
We need to come up with a really good plan to make this work. Your status as a celebrity could either work for you or against you, so we need to be careful with how we handle this.

 

I'll go and check some things, and you do me a favour and make an appointment with one of the counsellors Mateo recommended to you. The more examples we have proving how responsible you've acted about this, the better it will be.

As your lawyer I should probably tell you to call SEAFI, which is short for _servicio especializado de Atención a la Famila e Infancia _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _,______________________ and report the boy, that would be the right thing to do regarding the law, but... Well, they'd come and take him away. That doesn't mean you'll never get him back, but it would take time, and the idea of him being forcibly taken away from you and brought to a home, which he is terrified of from what you told me, and where he'll most definitely not stay... Cristiano, I shouldn't say this, but don't tell anyone about him yet unless you absolutely trust them.  
You promised him he'd be safe with you, and if you were the one to report him, to... _betray_ him, it would probably make him lose the ability to trust people altogether. That might be fatal for his soul, who knows if he'll ever recover from that. Don't risk that.

Both of us have some phonecalls to make now.  
I'll get back to you as soon as possible.  
Take care.'

 

Cristiano hung up and then called the first counsellor on Mateo's list.  
He made it clear how urgent is was and got an appointment for the end of the week, which he was very grateful for.

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Since Jeff still hadn't shown up, Cris went upstairs to check on him.  
He knocked on the door to Jeffrey's room and waited for an answer. When there was none, he carefully opened the door.  
Jeff was sitting on his bed, huddling on the edge of it, his back pressed against the wall. When Cristiano entered the room, Jeff stared at him with big eyes, and Cris saw that he was shaking.

 ___________________________'___________________________ Did you have another nightmare?' Cris asked softly. 'Are you all right? Can I – '  
He made a step towards Jeffrey while he was talking, but stopped abruptly when he saw the boy's eyes widen in fear.

Jeff pressed his blanket to his chest; his breath was heavy.  
'Please don't touch me! I can't have anyone touch me right now, I'm sorry, please – '  
Cristiano backed off a little.  
'I won't, it's okay, I won't touch you.'

 

Jeffrey nodded, and Cris saw tears in his eyes.  
'Okay,' Jeff responded, still shaking and rocking himself, 'okay, okay...'  
His behaviour seemed like an attempt to soothe himself, but apparently it didn't work.

 

'How can I help you?' Cris asked in the softest voice.

Now Jeff went from nodding to shaking his head.  
'I don't know. I don't – I don't know. Just don't touch me. Don't touch me, please don't touch me – '  
The shaking and rocking continued, and Cristiano felt helpless.  
'I won't touch you,' he repeated himself, but he wasn't sure if Jeff even heard him.  
His hands were clenched so hard that his knuckles were white, he panted and sucked in a sob from time to time.  
Cris wondered if this was some kind of panic attack, a different kind than the one he had witnessed before. They had talked about what he could do to help Jeff calm down then, but now the boy didn't want to be touched, and of course Cris respected that.

Following a sudden impulse, Cristiano left the room to get a very light cotton blanket, basically no more than a sheet, and went back to Jeffrey with it.

'Take this,' he said, put the blanket on the bed, and backed off quickly after that.  
'This will be your... your security blanket. You can wrap yourself in it, and as long as you do, no one will get closer to you than the length of an arm. I'll make sure of that, I promise.'

Jeff stared at Cris for a moment before his eyes went to the blanket.  
He carefully reached out with one hand, then quickly grabbed the blanket, and wrapped it around his shoulders.  
Then he let out a deep sigh, and Cris could actually see him relax a bit.

Jeffrey swallowed.  
'Thank you,' he said in a hoarse voice. He cleared his throat and looked at Cristiano.  
'Thank you,' he repeated.

He got up from the bed a little shakily, holding on to the blanket with both hands, and when he approached Cristiano and Cris backed off as soon as Jeff came too close, the fear in Jeffrey's eyes slowly vanished.

'You're serious about this.'

'Of course I am. I want you to feel safe. Because you are.'

A tiny smile appeared on Jeffrey's face for a second, and Cristiano felt once more that, although they still had a long way to go and that way wouldn't be an easy one, it was so worth it.

They sat down at the kitchen table together when Jeffrey had breakfast.  
After a while Jeff put down his spoon and looked at Cristiano.  
The blanket had fallen to the floor without Jeffrey noticing.

'I've been thinking,' the boy said.  
'You said you're gonna make me legally stay with you. As your foster son, I suppose.'

Cris nodded.

'I'm not even legally staying in Spain, am I?' Jeffrey continued, 'I'm a citizen of the USA, won't they deport me? Try and find my... my parents? Or just send me back for the authorities in New York to deal with me?'

'Do you have a passport? Anything to prove your citizenship?'

'No. I got nothing.'

'So,' Cris took a deep breath, 'you're a minor with no guardian and no papers. I'm not an expert here, I'd have to ask Vera, my lawyer, about it, but where should they send you to? Why would the states take you back if no one can prove you actually belong there?  
And finding your parents if you won't tell anything about them? Good luck with that.

When you'll be questioned you better not tell them anything but your name. You've lived here as long as you can remember and you have no idea where you're from or who your parents are except for the fact that they must have been speaking English since you're fluent in that language and must have learnt it somewhere.'  
He sighed.  
'I don't mean to tell you you should lie, but in this special case it might be best not to reveal too much about yourself. Do you understand that?'

'I do,' Jeff replied, 'I think you're right.  
I wish all that were already over...'

Cris smiled encouragingly.  
'So do I.  
But we're working on it.'

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When Jeff got up, he noticed that the blanket was lying on the ground behind his chair. He picked it up and put it back around his shoulders, and then looked at Cristiano apologetically.  
'It's okay,' Cris hurried to say, 'keep it as long as you need to, that's what it's for. I'm not feeling offended if that's what you're afraid of. Don't worry, alright?'

Jeff nodded gratefully.  
'So, what do we do now?'

'What do you feel like doing?' Cris answered with a smile.

Jeffrey returned the smile for a second, but then an anxious expression appeared on his face.  
'Don't my bandages have to be changed?'

Cris sighed.  
'They do. I can't do that without touching you – but we don't have to do it immediately. A few more hours won't hurt I guess. Do you think you'll be able to have it done later?'

A look at Jeffrey's face caused Cris to make a sudden turn. 'Forget it,' he said, 'don't think about it right now, we'll just see, okay? Don't worry.

Come on,' Cris hurried to change the subject, 'let's go over to the couch and google SEAFI, maybe we can figure out a plan together. We'll take care of everything, you won't have to, but if you have any ideas or suggestions I'll absolutely hear you out. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _'_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

'It's really weird if you think about it for a second,' Jeff said, and he was almost looking like he was talking to himself, 'officially I... I don't exist. I have no papers, no one ever reported me as missing, no one's been caring for years, so why does it have to be so complicated to let me stay here? It's not like anybody else wants me or I have a place to go...'

'The law protects children – or is supposed to. I'd say it's a good thing you can't just go and grab a homeless kid and keep them without anyone verifying that they're safe with you. Imagine the creep who brought you to Madrid would've been allowed to legally keep you.'

Cris paused and felt the urge to slap himself.  
'I'm so sorry, _menino_. I know I promised to try and be more sensitive with what I say. I really am trying, I have no idea why I said that. I mean, I do, but I don't know why I didn't consider how it'd make you feel first. I don't normally talk so much without ever thinking, I... I'm just nervous. I'm worried how this will turn out – not about you being allowed to stay with us, please don't think that, but about the way until we get there, and, and,' he sighed deeply, 'I'm sorry, love. I'll just shut up now.'

Jeff looked at him silently for a moment. Then he slowly took the blanket, foldet it, and put it on the couch right next to him.  
'I feel better,' he simply stated.

Cristiano sighed again, relieved this time.  
'Thank you. Uh, I mean...' He stared at Jeffrey with a blank face and then burst out laughing.  
'I'm a mess today, I'm sorry,' he panted, 'just don't take me seriously.'

There was a tiny smile on Jeffrey's face when he leaned forward to hug Cristiano around the neck.  
'I'm not feeling afraid at all right now,' he whispered, and Cristiano's fit of laughter stopped immediately just to be replaced by tears, but Cris managed to keep quiet. He hugged Jeffrey back and lovingly pet his hair.  
'I'm so happy to hear that.'

______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

'I get what you said about the law,' Jeffrey said a bit later, 'but if I'm supposed to be protected by it, then why would they take me away from the only place I've ever been safe? It's not about where I should stay or what's best for me, right? It's just about satisfying the law which forbids you to just keep me, which makes sense, I know, but why doesn't it make any difference whether or not I WANT to stay here? Will they even ask me?'

'Yes, they will.  
The two problems we'll have to face is that you're already staying here without anyone having officially given us permission. And that neither of us is a citizen of the country we live in. I've been thinking about whether it'd be easier if we went to Portugal for the whole procedure, but that'd be hard to explain, plus you're not a Portuguese citizen either and even if you were and the authorities gave permission for us to be your foster parents, we most definitely wouldn't be allowed to leave the country with you.  
I'm rambling again,' Cris interrupted himself and smiled at Jeffrey.  
'Let's focus on this: They won't really know what to do with you, you'll tell them that you want to stay here, we want you to stay here, and we can offer everything they could ask from us to be good foster parents. We have a nice home, enough money, a stable and loving marriage, and a happy son who will be over the moon if you stay with us. And we have good lawyers.  
We'll be able to manage it. We will.  
And now let's stop talking about it, we'll drive ourselves crazy with all these speculations.

Let me change your bandages now, will you?'

 

When Cris had just taken off the gloves, the phone rang.


	5. Chapter 5

 

It was Vera.

 

'I called a friend of mine who works for SEAFI,' she informed Cris, 'don't worry, I didn't say anything about you, I just asked her some general questions. So... She told me non-Spanish citizens generally can't apply as foster parents. If there's a child who isn't Spanish either or doesn't have an official citizenship at all, SEAFI usually still takes up their guardianship and treats them basically the same as Spanish children.

But she also told me there are exceptions. For instance if a child's parents die or can't take care of them anymore for any other reason, but there are people who are very close to the child, friends or relatives, they can become foster parents even if they're not Spanish citizens, as long as they legally stay in Spain, have no intentions of leaving the country, and never commited any kinds of felonies of course. It's the law's purpose to decide in the child's best interest which should work in our favour here.

 

I've come up with a little story you could tell SEAFI, yes, it'd be lying to a certain degree, but we don't really have a choice here, do we?

So please take notes now and learn your story by heart, will you?'

 

Cris grabbed a notebook and a pen from the kitchen counter.

'Go on.'

 

'Okay,' Vera inhaled deeply. 'So there's this boy who regularly visits Real's training like many other fans do, right? You've noticed him occasionally, and after a while you realised he was there basically every day, even when he should be in school. That was about a year ago, you don't have to know the exact date. Eventually you started talking to him, he told you his name and his age but not much more. When you asked him if he shouldn't be in school he just gave you vague answers, so you let it go because it was none of your business after all.

As time passed you grew closer, you even took him to lunch or dinner along with your husband and son a few times. When you offered him to drive him home he always refused, so you assumed he lived close by or his parents would pick him up.

Something about the situation always seemed odd to you, but you didn't really think about it.

You lost touch after the Euros. But a few weeks after the season had started again, he was back. You continued to talk and sometimes eat together and it wasn't much of a big deal, until one day, very recently, you went back to the stadium pretty late because you had left your phone in the locker room – and the boy was still there. That's when you realised what had felt odd to you all along. He didn't have parents or a home, he didn't go to school at all, he didn't have a place to go. And since you and your family grew attached to him over the months, and he seemed to have formed a bond with you as well, you decided to take him in to protect him until you'd figured out what to do about the situation.

Now it finally came to your head that you can't just pick a homeless child from the streets, but you and your family decided you wanted the boy to stay with you for good, and that's why you're calling SEAFI now to ask them for help.

You can offer everything they could ask for for this boy, so can they please check you and give permission for you to be his foster parents?

 

You got that?'

 

Cristiano rubbed his eyes with one hand. He had written everything down as good as he could. This story was plausible. He didn't find it hard to remember.

 

Now they only had to convince SEAFI that the best and only place for Jeffrey was the Aveiro-Regufe household.

 

 

'Maybe it'll be best if you call SEAFI and make an appointment or something for both of us?' he asked Vera eventually.

'Since I'm an amateur here it'd be totally reasonable for me to call my lawyer first to ask for advice, wouldn't it?'

 

Vera laughed. 'Obviously. Yes, I will do that. Have you made an appointment with a counsellor?'

 

'Yeah, I'll see her Friday morning.'

 

'Great. Let's wait till next week then, it's a good thing you talk to her first, she can help you with how to deal with SEAFI as well and maybe even give a recommendation when she believes you to be able to handle everything.

Please call me after you talked to her.

Take care, Cristiano.'

 

 

'Alright,' Cris clapped his hands and made Jeffrey look up in surprise, 'story time. We need to practise this until we'll be able to tell the story in our sleep.'

 

'Practise? What story? I'm sorry, I don't – '

 

'Yeah, I know. Just listen to me.'

 

Cristiano told Jeffrey about the idea Vera had come up with.

'Do you think you can remember that?'

 

'Yes, sure. The story is good. Convincing. It'll raise some questions, but I can handle that.' He bit his bottom lip. 'Please don't think bad of me, but I'm actually quite good at lying. I had to be, you know?'

 

'Don't worry,' Cris smiled, 'I bet you had to be, and I'm not thinking bad of you.

So if a social worker asked you about any details, would you be able to come up with an answer? Spontaneously?'

 

'Yes.'

 

'I need to see that. So... Okay, why did you come watch Real's training? You would think that someone who lives on the streets and doesn't even have food on a daily basis doesn't exactly care for club football?'

 

'I don't,' Jeffrey replied instantly, 'I wasn't there for football. There were always many people, parents with their children – people there were nice. They shared their food with me, especially parents who had brought stuff for their children. Sometimes kids would bring a ball, and I played with them. I almost felt... normal then. That's why I came back. Spending time with the fans was the best part of my day. Sometimes I'd just watch the families and imagined how it'd be to be a part of them.' He averted his gaze, and Cris stared at him with gaping mouth.

'Damn, you really are good at lying. You actually touched me with that story. I'd totally believe you if I didn't know better.

What else could you make up about your life?'

 

He stopped abruptly.

Apparently Jeffrey had had the same thought. He looked up at Cristiano, panic written all over his face.

'No! No, I swear – oh God, please don't believe I – I didn't,' he gasped for breath, 'I didn't lie to you! I didn't! I didn't make this up! Please – '

 

Cristiano laid a hand on the boy's head. 'I don't believe you lied to me,' he said calmly. 'First of all, I believe you. I do. And even if I hadn't in the beginning – come on, you got the scars to prove your story. Okay, theoretical, what you told me about your parents and everything could be false, but that wouldn't even matter really. You're not a liar, you're a survivor. I could never doubt that, so please stop worrying, okay?'

 

Jeff let out a weary sigh. He nodded his head, tears in his eyes. 'I promise I will never lie to you. I don't know if I'll always be able to tell you everything, but I won't lie to you.'

 

Cris smiled and pulled him into a gentle hug. 'I promise you the same.

 

You are convincing, that's for sure. And that's a good thing. It will help us. I'll try my best to be as good as you are. It's a little easier for me, though, because when they ask me more specific questions about you I can always say I don't know without raising suspicion.

 

Alright, so we have a plan now. That's awesome. A big relief.

That means we can spend the rest of the day as we please. I'm asking again: What do you feel like doing?'

 

 

Jeffrey sighed heavily.

'I... I don't know. This is... so much...' He rubbed his face.

'I just don't know...'

 

'It's okay,' Cris reassured him, 'I get it.

How about we play some football?'

 

 

Cristiano raised his arms. 'STRIKE!' he screamed in a very deep voice, and Jeff flinched so hard that his legs gave in, and he instinctively crawled backwards a little, away from Cristiano, gazing at him with huge eyes, before he realised Cris was not angry.

Cris crouched down. 'I'm sorry,' he hurried to say, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was... celebrating. This must look stupid to you.

Or threatening, actually. I apologise.' His voice was soft now, and Jeffrey nodded and slowly got back up.

'No, it's okay. I was the one being stupid. I know I scare easily, I'm sorry.'

 

'Let's stop apologising. It's not your fault you scare easily, and I should try and become more sensitive. I will try my best.

Let's do penalties now! I'll be the goalkeeper!'

 

They kept playing for a while. It turned out that Jeff didn't have much force in his strikes, but he very precisely hit targets he aimed for. Cris actually felt a little proud.

When he ruffled the boy's hair he noticed that it was wet from sweat. Paying closer attention, he now heard how Jeff was trying to hide his wheezing.

'Are you alright?'

 

Jeffrey swallowed hard and continued gasping for breath.

'Yeah... sure... I'm just – ' he stumbled and then sat down on the grass.

'I'm a little dizzy. I don't know why.'

 

'I guess I do,' Cris sighed, 'you're far from having recovered. You're still injured. We should take it easy, don't you think?

Come on, we better fetch you some water. Can you get up?'

 

He supported Jeffrey when they went back inside. 'Maybe you should have worn a jacket. I never feel cold while playing football or doing any kind of exercise, but it's winter after all.'

He paused.

'Do you own a jacket?'

 

'Yes, the one I was wearing when you... found me.'

 

'Oh come on, you can't exactly call that thing a jacket, it's more holes than anything else – I'm sorry, I... Does it mean something to you? It's still in your room, isn't it?'

 

Jeffrey nodded and then shook his head. 'It is. But it doesn't mean anything to me, it's just the only one I have.'

 

Cristiano carefully sat Jeffrey down on the couch.

'Right. We actually forgot to get you a new jacket. And winter clothes in general. All the stuff we bought is only for... staying inside. You won't spend the rest of your life inside, will you?' He laughed, but realised that Jeffrey didn't.

He sat down beside him.

'Listen. I know the thought of going outside, of having an actual life scares you. I get that. You'll go to school, to therapy, maybe do some kind of sports... You won't have to start tomorrow, but one day. Soon. And you can do it. You'll get better and feel stronger every day, and we're here to support you.'

 

Jeff furrowed his brows. 'Therapy?' He finally understood, and his eyes widened in fear. 'You mean seeing a... a therapist? Talking to him? Alone?' The wheezing started all over again. 'No, no, please, don't send me there, please, I don't want to t-talk to –' he sucked in a sob, 'please no,' he started rocking himself, and Cris carressed his sweaty hair to soothe him.

'You don't have to talk to anyone,' he reassured the trembling boy, 'but I think it will help you. All of us. You won't be alone with them if you don't want to be. And the counsellor Mateo recommended to us is actually a woman. I'll meet her on Friday. Ricky and I will see her, too, and maybe even Junior. She will help us become a family. She will help you heal. And she will help us help you heal, do you understand what I mean?'

 

'I guess so,' Jeffrey replied quietly. 'Thank you for picking a woman. I – I'll go see her if you want me to. And if you'll be with me – or at least close... Shall I join you on Friday?'

He had continously leaned towards Cristiano while speaking, and now Cris was able to hold him with both arms.

 

'No, love, that appointment is only for me. You'll start seeing her as soon as you feel ready. There's no need to hurry.'

 

'Oh, good,' Jeff exhaled slowly and rested his head against Cristiano's chest.

'That's good.

But... school? I'm obligated to go, right?

I'm so scared of that...'

 

'You are obligated,' Cris responded, 'and you will go, but there's no need to hurry, either. We'll figure out how to deal with that together with the counsellor and with SEAFI probably. We'll go slow. As slow as you need to.

 

Let's start with picking some winter clothes for you, what do you think? Jackets, boots, and whatever you feel like buying.'

 

 

So they went back to online shopping, and Jeffrey relaxed noticeably.

After a while Cristiano took a deep breath.

'There's one more thing I need to tell you since you're the only one in this family who doesn't know yet. It's good news, so please don't worry.

Ricardo and I will be fathers again. The twins will be born in June. It's a boy and a girl.' He couldn't help the big smile that spread across his face, but hurried to continue. 'That doesn't change anything for you so far, we got almost six months to prepare for them. It just means your new family will be even bigger than you thought – what do you say about that?'

 

Jeffrey didn't say anything for quite a while.

When he finally spoke, he sounded very earnest.

'So a six year old son and twin babies... and me? What makes you think that will work? Babies need so much care and time and attention – you can't waste all that on me, you know that. You didn't really think this through, did you?'

 

Cris sighed. 'I actually expected you to say something like this. And now I'm telling you something your parents probably never told you: It's not up to you to worry about this. Ricky and I are the parents, the adults. We handle this. You don't have to. Your job as a child is to grow, to learn, to play, and to be happy. Leave the rest to us. You don't have to shoulder any responsibility anymore. You're allowed to be a child now. You're entitled to it, actually. Let me and Ricky handle everything else. Can we agree on that?'

 

Jeff didn't seem convinced, but he nodded quickly.

'Well, congratulations,' he said eventually. 'The babies are lucky.'

Cris smiled gently. 'Junior will probably be seven by the times the twins arrive, though.

And thank you.'

 

When they were done shopping, Cris asked Jeffrey to tell the story Vera had made up for SEAFI again. Jeffrey repeated it almost exactly as Cris had told it the first time.

'Wow,' Cris said, 'you're pretty good at remembering things, aren't you? You're fluent in three languages – you must be really smart. School shouldn't be a problem for you then.'

 

'I'm not worried about the subject matter,' Jeff responded.

'Can't I be homeschooled?'

 

'No, you can't. I know you can in the US, but not in Spain. And I think that's a good thing. We'll try and have you attend the school we chose for Junior when he'll be older. It's a private school with very good reputations. I'll call the principal after I've talked to the counsellor. I think her name is Barbara García by the way, I should try and remember that since we'll see her regularly from now on.

 

What _are_ you worried about?'

 

Jeffrey rubbed his face.

'I don't really know how to behave among other kids. It's been so long.'

 

'Well, you didn't have any problems making Junior like you. Okay, he's younger than the kids at your school will be, but I really don't think it'll be hard for you to make friends. It's basically impossible not to like you!'

 

'That's what you say. People in school might disagree. I'm not like them. A private school? Their lives must be nothing like mine. And I'm... I know I'm kind of... awkward. I don't know. I'm just different. I'm scared of basically everything. They'll have a great time making fun of that. Or if they don't, they'll at least avoid me. Which wouldn't be so bad...'

 

Cris took Jeffrey's hand. 'I know a lot of things scare you. But that will change, even if you find it hard to imagine that right now. The more you heal, the more confident you'll become.

Anything else?'

 

Jeffrey swallowed. He held on to Cristiano's hand.

'I... There...' He sighed heavily. 'You won't be there with me to protect me, will you?'

 

'We won't be there with you, that's true. But as long as you're in school it's the teachers' job to protect you. I don't think the other kids will be that bad, though. And even if there is the mandatory bully, the teachers will deal with that. They have a pretty strict policy when it comes to bullying. You'll be fine, I'm sure.'

 

'But what if... it's not the other kids...'

Jeff suddenly fell silent and stared at the ground.

It took Cris a while to understand what he was talking about.

 

'You're worried about the teachers? Is that it?'

 

'Please don't think I'm silly. I know it sounds silly.' Jeff spoke in a very low voice. 'But you don't know what I've...' He sighed again, and this time it sounded so painful that it made Cristiano's heart tense up.

He didn't know how to reply to that.

 

'You're right,' he finally managed to answer, 'I don't know what you've experienced. I'm not belittling it in any way! But on the other hand you don't know how life can be when you have someone to protect you. Junior has never had any problems with his teachers. First of all because I believe them to be decent people, but even if some of them weren't – they'd always know Ricky and I would come for them if they ever touched our son. And it'll be the same with you. Your teachers will be alright, I'm sure, but equally important is that you're not an easy target anymore. You're not alone anymore. You have us to guard and protect you. And everyone at your school will know that. So we kind of _are_ there with you, even if we're not physically, you know?'

 

When Jeff closed his eyes, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

'I know you protect me. I still can't believe it, but I know you do.

That's why the thought of going anywhere without you terrifies me so much.'

 

Cris sighed quietly and pressed his lips on Jeffrey's head.

'As I said, you won't have to go tomorrow. When the day comes, you might feel different. Stronger.

You'll be fine.'

 

He knew he didn't sound too convincing.

He was worried too – not as much as Jeff was, but it clearly wouldn't be easy for Jeffrey to adapt to a normal life. And to overcome his fear.

Cris and Ricky would have to work something out with Miss García – a way to be strong for Jeff and yet not to push him too much. To support and protect him but not to reinforce his fears.

Cris placed another firm kiss on the boy's head.

'I could grab another bite to eat, what about you?'

 

 

He prepared some scrambled eggs and toast, and Jeff did eat some of it.

'You'll be here tomorrow, won't you?' the boy asked when Cris had emptied his plate.

Cris nodded.

 

'And the day after tomorrow?'

His looked at Cris with his dark, cautious eyes.

 

Cristiano put down his water glass, swallowed, and blinked twice.

'No. I have to go back to training on Thursday.'

 

'Who will be staying with me?' Jeff asked through gritted teeth, 'Ricardo?'

 

'I'm not sure he'll be able to get a day off. He could ask, though.

Do you think you might be comfortable with staying with my mother? She would stay here with you, I mean. She lives very close by, but we're not asking you to leave the house yet.'

 

Jeffrey inhaled deeply.

'Your mother? Would she come and baby-sit me? She hasn't even met me yet. What if she doesn't have time? What if she won't like me?'

He pressed his lips together to make himself stop talking.

 

Cris smiled at him encouragingly. 'Oh, she already loves you just from what I've told her about you, believe me. She is very eager to meet you, but she doesn't want to overwhelm you. She told me to call her when you were ready to meet her.

She takes care of Junior when Ricky and I are working. After school, I mean. She or one of my sisters. I have a pretty big family actually, but you won't be meeting them too soon, don't worry.

But my mother...

 

Shall we call her today? Or tomorrow? What do you think?'

 

There were tears glistening in Jeffrey's eyes, and his body tensed up visibly.

'I – I don't know if I – if I'm – ' his chin began to tremble, and Cristiano hurried to cradle the boy's head against his chest.

'It's ok, shh, it's ok, _querido_ , really. Let's wait for tomorrow and see how you feel, shall we? We don't have to decide anything today.'

 

Jeff nodded and quietly sucked in a sob.

'Please don't think I'm ungrateful, please!' he begged in such a low voice that Cris could hardly make it out.

'I'd love to meet your mum, I'm sure she's a wonderful person, I just feel... so...' He sighed, and it was louder than his voice.

 

'You're helpless because you can't even find the words to describe how you feel,' Cris stepped in, ' _I_ can feel that just by listening to your breathing. I can't give you the words, but I'm pretty certain I understand you anyway.

It's ok.'

 

Jeffrey hid his face in Cris' chest and let out a sob that tore Cristiano's heart to shreds.

 

 

There were so many emotions in this little person, and they changed so quickly Cris could hardly catch up. He caught himself being very thankful once more that his date with the counsellor was already on Friday. He needed help with this.

 

When the phone rang again, they both jumped.

 

'Hello, love,' Dolores said, 'I was wondering how you were doing? Ricky sent me a message that you were staying home with Jeffrey. How is he? Have you eaten properly?'

 

Cristiano had to fight back a smile.

'Yes, _mãe_ , Mateo signed me off work for three days. I have been cooking, you know I can do that, right?'

 

Dolores laughed, and Cris instantly felt better.

'We have – '

He noticed Jeffrey looking up at him with big eyes and interrupted himself.

'Do you need anything?'

 

Jeff swallowed hard.

'Is that your mum on the phone?

Can I talk to her?'

 

' _Mamã_ , Jeff would like to say hello.'

He handed the phone over to Jeffrey and could see and hear him take a deep breath.

 

'Hi.'

His voice made him sound even smaller than he actually was.

Cristiano couldn't hear what his mother was saying, but he saw Jeffrey form a tiny smile before he bit his bottom lip.

'Yes. Yes. _Obrigado._ Yes, thank you.

I would like to... I – I would... Yes.' He inhaled again. 'Yes, that would be nice. I'd like that. Thank you.'

 

He handed the phone back to Cris.

'Jeffrey was so kind to invite me over for tea,' his mother informed him, and he burst out laughing, feeling the tension leave his body.

 

 

'I hope it was okay that I agreed?' Jeffrey asked after Cris had hung up the phone.

 

'I hope it's okay for _you_ ,' Cris replied, 'I'm all up for it!'

 

 

Cris made tea and defrosted some cake from the freezer in the microwave.

They had just put the napkins on the table when they heard the front door open and keys rattling in the hall.

Jeff went a bit pale, but he straightened his back and lifted his chin, while Cris went to greet Dolores in the hallway.

 

She gave him a hug and he kissed her cheek.

'I hope it's all right that I came,' Dolores said right away, 'I admit I couldn't wait to meet him, but I don't want him to feel pressured, you know? How is he doing?'

 

Cristiano kissed her again. 'He's doing great. He's overwhelmed and scared to death, and he's doing amazing.'

 

They entered the kitchen together, and Jeffrey was obviously doing his best to hold himself together.

So was Dolores, and Cris wasn't sure whose struggle was harder.

Dolores and Jeffrey exchanged a strained and a little forced looking smile and shook each other's hand very gently. Cris knew that his mother usually had a pretty firm handshake, but now she was very considerate. Cristiano wouldn't have expected anything else from her.

 

'My name is Jeffrey,' Jeff said in a reserved and polite tone, 'I'm very pleased to meet you. I must admit I was nervous about it, but nevertheless looking forward to it.'

 

Cris was amazed and impressed, and he saw his mother doing her best to fight back the tears.

 

'It's my pleasure, _amor._ My name is Dolores, but you can call me _avó_.'

 

Jeffrey's eyes widened, and Cris covered his mouth with his hand.

 

'I'm sorry!' Dolores hurried to say, 'I spoke without thinking – I mean I don't mind you calling me that, at all, but of course you don't _have_ to!

Let's start with Dolores, what do you think?'

 

Jeff nodded and gave her a little smile.

'I would like that.'

 

 

They ate their cake without talking, but the silence was comfortable rather than awkward. At least for Cris and his mother. Jeffrey looked a bit strained still, but his hands were steady when he drank his tea.

 

They weren't even quite done yet when Ricky and Junior came home, so the two of them just joined them at the table, Cris got two more plates, and Junior kept talking about what he head done in school without noticeably breathing between the sentences. They all relaxed more and more, even Jeffrey would smile at Junior whenever the younger boy looked at him.

 

'This is family,' Cristiano thought to himself, and once again he could hardly believe how lucky he was.

He wished it could stay like this without all the obstacles they'd still have to face.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

The next day was the last one that Cristiano would be able to entirely spend with Jeffrey.

There wasn't much to do – all the calls were made for now, the appointment with the counsellor was set – so they could just enjoy the free time and relax. At least that was what Cris had in mind; he was aware that there was no real planning with Jeffrey.

 

He felt relieved that his mum and Jeff now finally had met and seemed to get along just fine, because she was the one who was supposed to take care of Jeffrey from tomorrow onwards when Cris would go back to training.

Last night had been helping there.

 

Jeffrey had gotten tired earlier than Junior while they had still been sitting in the kitchen together. He hadn't said anything and had tried his best to suppress the yawning, but his pale face and the dark cricles under his eyes had made it pretty obvious that he would eventually end up hitting his head on the table or falling off his chair, so Cris had sent him to bed. When he had checked on him not even ten minutes later, the boy had already been fast asleep.

 

Junior had gone to sleep soon after despite his objections, and the adults had been left sitting at the table, drinking more tea, and talking.

 

                                                         -------------------------------------------

 

'So tell us,' Cris asked his mother, 'what do you think of this kid and how crazy do you think we are for doing this?'

Ricky smiled mildly and looked at his mother-in-law. 'I don't mean to be rude, but... I've known your for over a decade now, I've seen this face before, and I'm betting my husband's favourite boots on this: You're not going to try and talk us out of this, are you?'

 Dolores gave him a warm smile. 'I'm not. Cristiano may keep his boots.'

They laughed, and it felt good. It felt right.

 'Ricardo,' Dolores continued, 'you're the one we always call the voice of reason in this house. If you never tried to talk my son out of this, why would I?

 That boy is... I don't even have words.'

She now looked at Cristiano.

'If you were to send him away, I'd seriously doubt the way I raised you.

Helping him heal will be a real challenge. It will be hard. It probably will be hell sometimes. But hell is where he comes from. The world owes him redemption for what he's been through. And I couldn't think of anyone who's more capable of giving emotional support than my incredible son and his wonderful husband. You've already proven that you're the best fathers a child could wish for – just look at Junior.

 I know you can't compare that. But there are people to turn to if we need help. We'll do this together. We aren't alone. And neither will Jeffrey be, ever again. We're his family now, and we love him.'

 

Cris and Ricky reached for each other's hands.

'We do.'

 

                                                      -------------------------------------------

 

And they had started the following day like a family. Dolores had come over again for breakfast, and Jeffrey had joined them for the first time, too.

 

Dolores had been the one to take Junior to school so he and Ricky would have a little more time until they had to go. Before Ricky had left for work, he had kissed his son on the temple, his mother-in-law on the cheek, and his husband on the lips. When he had turned to Jeffrey to say goodbye, he had hesitated.

Jeffrey hadn't looked at him, nor had he gotten up from his chair, but he had very gingerly hugged Ricky around the waist.

 

 

 Now Cris was doing the dishes and Jeffrey was still sitting at the table. He wasn't facing Cris, he wasn't moving, and he was completely silent.

But Cris knew that he was crying.

He didn't seem to want Cris to know, so Cristiano pretended he hadn't noticed.

 

Last night before Jeff had gone to sleep they had removed the bandages for good. Jeffrey's wounds weren't done healing yet, but they didn't need help anymore. His body would do the rest on its own.

His soul wouldn't.

 

 

When Cris had turned on the dishwasher, he went over to the table and took a seat next to Jeffrey.

'Don't speak,' he held one hand up to stop Jeffrey who had probably just been going to apolgise, 'just cry. Take your time.'

He didn't say anything else, and he didn't touch Jeffrey. He just kept sitting there and listened to the boy's quiet sobs.

 

'I'll be happy to comfort you,' he said eventually in a low voice, 'but I don't mean to make your crying stop. You need to let yourself cry, we need to. It's not a bad thing, it helps you. So allow yourself to cry, and so will I.'

 

Jeffrey swallowed hard.

'I don't want to cry anymore,' his voice was shaky, 'I want it to stop.

 

I always cried, and I don't feel like it ever helped me. They never bothered. I think they actually enjoyed it.'

 

Cris felt that familiar twitch in his stomach again, but this time he knew better than to act on it.

 

'I always knew they were waiting for me to cry because it was more fun for them. And I was never able to prevent it, not a single time. Sometimes I'm surprised there are even any tears left.'

Jeff was staring at the table while speaking. Now he squeezed his eyes shut for a second and several tears rolled down his wet cheeks at once.

'I know you say crying is healthy. Maybe it is for some people. But for me... it always ever makes me feel weak and helpless.

Probably because that's what I am...'

 

'Come on, Jeffrey,' Cris sighed heavily, 'seriously, you're a child, what else are you supposed to be?! Strong enough to defend yourself against anyone in the world? Stop blaming yourself! You'd never blame another kid in your position, would you? What would you say if Junior was attacked by some guy?'

 

A heavy silence fell upon them for a moment.

 

Jeffrey turned his head to look Cristiano straight in the eye.

'I would kill them,' he said, and the sudden change in his voice made Cristiano shiver.

 

'No,' he stated. ' _I_ would.'

 

He took a deep breath. And then another.

'But that's not the point. The point is you're totally aware a child is never to blame for being hurt by an adult.

So why do you still blame yourself?'

 

The boy's eyes slowly went back to the table surface.

'Because that's different. _I_ am different. Just ask my parents – oh, wait,' he let out a painful parody of a laugh, and Cris clenched his fists under the table.

'Yes, children can't defend themselves, I know that. But people want to protect children, right? Even if they're not their own. We'd go extinct otherwise, wouldn't we?

There are sick people out there, yes. People who want to hurt children. But there's always others who are willing to protect those kids. Sometimes they're not enough. Sometimes they can't be there, sometimes they don't know, but – but...' he had gotten out of breath while talking, and he had raised his voice without realising, 'maybe, sometimes, there isn't anyone there to protect them, I get that, but that's still different, don't you see that! With me... there have been people there. They were there, they knew, they _could_ have – but they didn't WANT to! They never felt the urge to protect me, no one ever did, and how am I supposed to believe it was _their_ fault, is was _them_ , every single time, and never me, that's bullshit!'

 

He had almost yelled the last word, and the sound of his own voice made him flinch. An alarmed expression spread over his face.

He turned away again.

Cris was expecting him to apologise, but Jeff remained silent. He just stared at the table once again, guilt and incomprehension written all over his face. Apparently he didn't understand what had just happened, and he seemed to feel terrible about it. So much that he didn't even know how to address it.

 

'If there's more on your mind, please go on,' Cris whispered.

 

Jeff was panting silently, Cris only noticed because of the heavy movement of the boy's shoulders. His mouth was moving too, as though he hadn't stopped talking but had only muted himself.

 

'No... no... I just need to sort this out for myself. I won't,' he only mumbled now, 'I'm not... Anyway – '

All of a sudden he inhaled deeply and audibly while straightening his back; it looked and sounded like he was finally coming up after being under water for too long. He blinked a few times and then looked at Cristiano.

'What are we doing today? Can I make myself useful? Help you clean the house or something?'

 

Cris needed a few seconds to adjust to the new situation.

'Uh, we have staff for that actually, I just cancelled that for the time being, you know, more people who are strangers to you, I thought that might be a bad idea...'

 

'Alright,' Jeff got up from his seat and furtively wiped his cheecks, 'that means it's my job to do it, then. Where shall I start? The bathrooms?'

 

'What?' Cris furrowed his brows, 'no, why would that be your job? You don't have to do any of that!'

 

Jeff sighed. 'Please, Cristiano,' it was the first time he actually called Cris by his name, 'I stay here for free, I eat, I use water and electricity and – and now your staff won't even do the cleaning anymore because of me? It's not right that I do nothing in return.'

 

'It's not right that you clean our bathrooms, either. Come on – the mere thought weirds me out. Do you think it's weird that Junior stays here for free too or what?'

 

Jeff tilted his head. 'You know that's not the same.'

 

'Yeah, maybe it's not. And maybe it is. Either way, you won't be cleaning anything but your own room here, and that's not up for discussion, all right?'

 

'All right,' Jeffrey sighed again, 'what _can_ I do, then?

Please don't get me wrong, but it's... strange just sitting around in your house day in, day out – I know I've been only here for... five days now? But five days is a long time for me to stay at the same place. I just feel so useless. And on top of that I'm keeping you from doing what you usually do. Don't you feel weird staying in all day, too? How much time do you usually spend at home?'

 

Cris rubbed his head. 'Well, not that much, to be honest. But – '

He was interrupted by the doorbell.

Jeffrey flinched at the sound, and his face turned pale.

Cris told him not to worry, went to answer the door, and a few moments later he came back with his arms full of packages.

'Must be your new clothes!' he shouted a little too enthusiastically – his own heart had actually skipped a beat, too, when the doorbell had rung. 'Do you want to unbox them?'

 

'So many,' Jeff whispered with big eyes.

 

They unpacked the clothes together and Jeff tried everything on; he had grown accustomed to Cris seeing him shirtless enough to change the tops in his presence, for changing the trousers he went to one of the bathrooms. There were also boots and a warm jacket, and of course some underwear. Cris had done a good job guessing the boy's size, and the clothes fit very well. Cristiano was delighted, and Jeffrey appeared speechless.

 

'This must have cost you a fortune,' he managed to say eventually.

Cris tilted his head, looked the boy straight in the eye, and raised one brow.

' _Menino_ , in case you still haven't noticed: I'm fucking rich.'

 

Jeffrey bit his bottom lip, and it looked like an attempt to suppress a smile. So Cristiano considered his joke a success.

'The clothes need to be washed before you can wear them, but that shouldn't take too long.'

 

'Is your laundry done by your staff as well?' Jeff asked, and although his smile wasn't visible, Cris could hear it in his voice.

 

He blushed a little. 'Well, yes. But I am capable of operating a washing machine and a dryer! Let's go!'

 

 

After doing laundry Cris gave in and they at least cleaned the kitchen and the living room together. Jeffrey did the vacuuming.

When they were done, he was sweating.

Cris looked at him a little worriedly. 'Has this exhausted you? Are you okay? Sit down for a while, I'll fetch you some water.'

 

Jeff did as he was told, still out of breath.

'You wouldn't think vacuuming is something to leave you panting, would you?' he attempted to joke after he had emptied the glass Cris had brought him.

 

'It's understandable you're not exactly in good shape considering how you've lived before. You need to gain some weight. I'm sure you'll get fitter and stronger over time.

 

How about we work out a little together? Once you've caught your breath, I mean. Nothing too exhausting, just some basic exercises for you to gain some strength maybe? Or, well, to check first how much you can do yet and still feel good about it?'

 

Jeff blinked a few times. 'Uh... okay?'

 

 

 

 

They entered Cris' private gym and Jeff looked around with big eyes.

'You don't have to try any of the equipment,' Cris reassured him, 'well, the treadmill maybe, on a slow pace. If you want to. We can start with warm up exercises. Some sit-ups, crunches, press-ups, stuff like that. Chins are my favourites to do with Junior, it's adorable how ambitious he is, although he still needs assistance.'

 

'What are chins?' Jeffrey asked.

Cris pointed towards the pull-up bar. 'You hold on to that with both hands, and then you pull your body up until your chin is above the bar. It's very hard but makes your arms and shoulders real strong. Of course the bar is too high for you, it's set for my height. If you want to try it, I'll give you a hand.'

Without giving it a second thought, Cris grabbed Jeffrey by the hips to lift him up, just as he used to do with Junior.

 

The horrified yelp Jeff let out made Cris flinch so hard that he immediately dropped the boy.

Jeffrey didn't manage to land on his feet. He fell to the floor, then rolled on his back and looked up at Cris, stared at him with terror in his dark eyes, and gasped for breath so loudly that the sound seemed to pierce Cristiano's ears.

 

Cris covered his mouth with both hands. 'Oh my – ' He cautiously took a step towards Jeffrey.

Jeff crawled backwards – away from Cristiano. His face was ashen. He was still gasping.

 

'For fuck's sake,' Cristiano shook his head almost violently, 'I'm the biggest fucking dickhead ever! I'm so sorry, Jeffrey, I'm sorry!

Can you get up? Are you hurt? I'm so sorry I dropped you – I'm sorry I touched you! I'm sorry I scared you! I... I...' He went back to shaking his head.

 

Jeff didn't move. He wasn't even shaking; he had practically frozen. His eyes were even bigger than usual, his breath was hitching.

 

'I'll get your blanket!' Cris almost shouted when the idea came to his mind. He sprinted to the living room where the blanket was still lying folded up on the couch. Jeff hadn't even thought about it anymore, so he hadn't taken it to bed with him. That realisation broke Cristiano's heart. Jeff had felt safe for an entire day – and he had ruined it by not using his brains. Again. They had both felt comfortable, and apparently that had been enough for Cris to forget that he couldn't just treat this boy as he treated Junior.

 

Cris took a deep breath. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't make this about him.

 

He grabbed the blanket and went back to the gym where Jeff was sitting with his back against the wall now.

'There,' Cris laid the blanket on the floor, close enough for Jeffrey to reach it, but not too close so he wouldn't scare him again.

When Cris had backed off a few steps, Jeffrey carefully took the blanket, unfoldet it, and covered his bent legs and then his chest. He held on to it so tightly that Cris' hands hurt just from looking at Jeffrey's white knuckles.

 

'All right,' Cris sighed exhaustedly, 'this went awry. Every time I think I can't possibly screw up more I go and prove myself wrong.

 

Please look at me, Jeffrey. I didn't mean to hurt you. That was not my intention. I acted without thinking, but I did _not_ scare or hurt you intentionally, I swear.'

 

It obviously took Jeff some effort to look at Cris, but he did. His breathing had settled a bit.

'What _were_ you doing?' he finally uttered.

 

'I was going to lift you up. You know, so you could grab the bar. I've done this with Junior so many times, it was like an automatism. I'm so sorry.'

 

Jeffrey lowered his gaze again.

'It's all right.

Can I be alone for a few minutes?'

 

He had spoken very quietly, but Cris had caught his words.

'Of course. Shall I come check on you after that? Or should I wait for you to come back on your own?'

 

Jeff pressed the blanket against his chest.

'I don't know,' he whispered. He closed his eyes, and Cristiano sighed again and left the boy alone.

 

 

Cris went back to the living room. It was almost three o'clock, so Dolores was probably already on her way to pick Junior up from school.

Exhaling deeply, Cristiano sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands.

They had managed to make the day a good one. It was the last day they were to spend together from the beginning to the end. And he had ruined it. He didn't know what to do now. He had scared the hell out of the boy, and he had no idea how to make up for it.

 

After a while he grabbed his phone and called Ricky.

 

'Hi _carcacinha_ ,' Ricky answered, 'everything all right?'

 

Suddenly Cris had difficulties holding back the tears.

'Are you coming home soon?'

 

'Why?' now Ricky's voice sounded alarmed, 'something happened? Are you okay? Is Junior okay?'

 

'Junior is still in school, my mum is picking him up. He's fine.'

He could hear his husband's relieved sigh.

 

'Oh _graças a Deus_. Okay. What is it, then? You sound... hurt.

Is it Jeffrey? Is _he_ alright?'

 

Cristiano's breath hitched as he tried to hold back the sob he could feel rising in his chest.

'I'm sure he would be if I weren't such a – ' he sighed heavily. 'Can you please come home and take care of him? I've scared him so much I won't be able to comfort him anymore.

Please come home, _amor_.

I need you.'

 

 

Ricky arrived before Dolores and Junior did.

Jeff still hadn't come back from the gym.

 

Before he said anything, Ricky gave Cris one of those tender hugs that never failed to soothe him, no matter the situation.

' _Amo-te_ ,' he whispered, and Cris sank into the hug and felt his heart go back to a calm, steady pace.

They held each other for a while. Then Ricky went to check on Jeffrey while Cristiano made some tea.

 

 

'Hey, _querido_.' Ricky entered the gym carefully. Jeff had stood up, the blanket still tightly wrapped around his shoulders. He looked at Ricky. The fear in his eyes had been replaced by pain.

' _Desculpa_ ,' he uttered.

Ricardo smiled at him. It wasn't an amused smile, it was a smile full of warmth and comfort. Full of love.

And not even the pain that controlled Jeffrey was able to resist this love.

The boy returned the smile – a weak, teary-eyed smile, but a smile nonetheless.

 

'It's time to prepare dinner for tonight. Would you like to help me?'

 

'Yes, I – ' Jeff hesitated. His grip on the blanket strengthened.

 

'I see.

You could wrap it around your waist, like a towel? We'll still be carefull not to come too close, and you'll have your hands free. Would that be an option?'

 

Jeffrey nodded quietly. He did as Ricardo had suggested. Ricky could see him straighten his back. 'I'll... be happy to help.'

 

When they went back to the kitchen Ricky was careful not to come below the distance between them; the length of an arm, just as Cris had promised.

 

 

                                                       -------------------------------------------------

 

 

Jeffrey kept the blanket for the rest of the day, and Ricardo had to stop Junior from approaching him when he came home and to tell Dolores about the 'security blanket'.

 

Apart from that, there were no further incidents. Dolores stayed for dinner, and Jeffrey assured her shyly that he would be happy for her to keep him company the following day when Cristiano would go back to training.

 

When Cris and Ricky went to bed long after the boys and after Dolores had left, Cris didn't consider the day a total failure anymore.

'You're my hero, you know that?' he muttered when they were all cuddled up, Cristiano's head resting on Ricky's chest regardless of him being a whole lot taller than his husband.

He felt Ricky's chuckle rather than hearing it.

'You are mine, you know that too, right?'

He sighed quietly, and again Cris felt it by the rising of the smooth chest below his face.

'This isn't as bad as you think, _carcacinha_ . We need loads of sensitivity with Jeffrey, yes. You _are_ a sensitive person, the most sensitive person I know actually, but you're not always the most mindful one. But – ' he laid a gentle hand on Cristiano's head, 'I believe that can turn out to be advantageous to Jeffrey. Walking on eggshells around him will never help him lead a normal life. You're still able to be ingenuous around him, and I think that will be helpful in the end.'

 

Ricardo turned his head to kiss Cristiano on the forehead.

'You can be just as unburdened as Junior, and I think that's beautiful.

So don't fret too much about what happened, _amor_. Jeffrey is not used to being touched in a way that isn't meant to hurt him, and you're clearly not used to live with someone who's afraid of being touched, neither of us is.'

While speaking those last words, Ricky felt Cristiano's hand making its way down his chest to his stomach, and he couldn't help but grin.

'I see we are on the same page here.'

 

Cristiano lifted his head so he could look at Ricky.

For an endless moment, they drowned in each other's eyes, before they finally both closed them the second their lips met.

 

 

                                                                         ------------------------------

 

 

'Should I wake him to say goodbye? That would be stupid, wouldn't it? But I feel bad leaving while he's still sleeping.'

 

'You need to go, though, or you'll be late,' Dolores told her son. 'He knows you're going back to training, and I'll be here the entire time, remember? Now get out.'

She kissed him on the cheek and Cris finally left.

 

Jeffrey didn't come downstairs until noon. Dolores had just decided to go check on him when she heard the pads of his bare feet on the stairs.

He stopped halfway through when he saw her.

 

'Good morning, love,' Dolores greeted him with a warm smile, 'did you sleep well?'

 

'Thank you,' Jeff murmured. Dolores noticed that he hadn't brought his blanket.

'Are you hungry? I will make you some breakfast.'

 

She headed for the kitchen, and Jeffrey followed her.

 

'I hope you aren't feeling too uncomfortable,' Dolores said when they were sitting at the table, 'it must be weird for you that I'm here instead of Cristiano, I know you've become pretty acquainted with him. Which is great.'

 

Jeff slowly put his fork down.

'I try not to think too much about the whole situation to be honest. Everything about this is weird, don't you think? Most of all that all of you act as though it were normal to host some stray kid from the streets – ' he bit his bottom lip and lowered his voice when he went on, 'I'm sorry, this wasn't supposed to sound rude. I just still don't get it. I really don't...'

 

'You aren't being rude. Neither of us really understands this, you know that? There isn't much to understand, anyway. I believe it was meant to be. God led you here so he could finally give you the home and family he's always had in store for you. It took some time because it had to be the right one, but now you're finally here.'

 

Jeff wasn't able to return her smile. He felt that is wasn't the best idea to tell her that he had stopped believing in God a long time ago.

 

'How long have Cristiano and Ricky been married?' he asked instead.

Dolores' smile got even brighter.

'They got married about a year before Junior was born. But they've been together for quite some time before, almost ten years.'

 

'Wow,' Jeff responded, 'that's a long time.'

 

'Feels like only the blink of an eye, though.

Ricardo and my son were meant to be, either. They're perfect for each other. Ricardo has the gift of uplifting and also grounding Cristiano. He supports him in everything he does and he's as proud of him as I am, but I think it's mostly thanks to him that Cristiano has stayed humble despite his success. I mean I like to think that I have played my part by rasing him well, but a mother can only do so much. Ricky is Cristiano's biggest fan, but he has been before Cristiano became famous. He only ever sees the person and never the star, sometimes it's like he isn't even aware of all the fans and the publicity and everything. When he looks at Cristiano, he sees nothing but him, no matter where they are and how many people and cameras surround them.'

Dolores had to wipe her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she laughed, 'I'm every bit as emotional as my son. I'm just so thankful and happy he found the right person. The one. And I love Ricardo more than I can say.'

 

Jeffrey remained silent for a while. There was a lot going on inside his head.

 

'I didn't really know about the... publicity. How famous Cristiano is. I didn't even know _him_ when I came here.

You know, this could really come to a bad end. If someone finds out about me before everything is settled. Don't you think?'

 

'No,' Dolores replied without hesitation, 'everything will be all right. I know it will.

Have a little faith.'

 

Jeffrey sighed heavily. Faith was the last thing he had.

Not in any God at least.

 

 

'Aren't you worried I'll take away the time and attention that Junior and the twins will need?' he asked eventually. 'I'm trying as hard as I can, I swear, but I know I can be difficult. I don't mean to be. It just... happens sometimes.'

 

Dolores reached out with one hand, and when Jeff didn't shy away from her, she started to gently fondle the back of his head and his neck.

His body responded almost instantly by practically going limp – he was astonished at how good that felt.

 

'I'm glad you speak your mind like this, _querido_. The more open we all are about our feelings, the better we can handle this.

You'll take nothing away from anyone. When you have siblings, you have to share your parents' time and attention. That's how it works. And there's nothing wrong with that. I have raised four children, and I haven't had much help from their father. Don't get me wrong, he was a good man and he loved his children dearly, but he was very sick. He died when Cristiano was only twenty years old. He already knew Ricky then, thank goodness. Ricardo has helped him more than anyone to get through that difficult time.'

 

'I'm sorry,' Jeff said in a low voice, 'sounds like your life hasn't been easy.'

He couldn't help but close his eyes over her touch.

Dolores kept caressing him in a way that reminded Jeff of Cristiano.

 

'I have been rewarded more than I could ever dream of. Most of all with my wonderful children and grandchildren.

You will meet all of them when you're ready.'

 

There were tears welling in the boy's still closed eyes. He felt as though Dolores wasn't only touching his neck, but also stroking his soul.

He couldn't remember ever having felt like this. Safe and warm, and he was completely overwhelmed by it.

 

'Can you... tell me more about Cristiano and Ricky, please?' he asked in a hoarse voice. He needed something to focus on. And the way Dolores talked about her son and her son-in-law made him feel good.

 

'Sure,' Dolores smiled, 'there's nothing a mother loves more to talk about than her children, is there?

 

Well, Ricardo is pretty famous, too, there's no escaping that when you're married to a superstar. And it's literally so heartwarming how much Cristiano's fans love him – and the two of them together. They call them Cricky,' she laughed, 'like a combination of their names, you know?

People noticed right from the start when Cristiano and Ricky started dating back in the days. There's just no way to witness how they look at each other and not to recognise the love in their facial expression. True love couldn't be hidden even if you tried. Not that they ever tried.' She chuckled again.

 

'Once everything is cut and dried you'll probably come in contact with the fans and the public, too. I admit the thought is scary at first, but you'll get used to it just as Junior has. We have security too, so no one will touch you or anything, don't worry.

Cristiano will reveal he and Ricky took in a foster son as soon as possible, just as he did with Junior's birth, and as he will about the birth of the twins once they've arrived. That's the best way to prevent people from asking too many questions. They're given the most important information, and the rest is private anyway.'

 

Now Jeff opened his eyes again. Hesitantly.

'They _will_ ask questions, won't they? Why now? Why me? They'll be digging, right?'

 

He looked so alarmed that Dolores stopped caressing him.

'Don't be worried, _amor_. Maybe they will try, but who cares? You're a child, what could they possibly find out about you? It's not like you're a celebrity and everyone in Madrid has compromising footage of you, is it?' She laughed again because this was obviously funny.

 

Jeff answered with a forced smile.

He didn't find this funny at all.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very sorry it took me so long to finally update!  
> This chapter wasn't exactly cooperative and it turned out nowhere near what I had planned, and I admit it's not my favourite one. But it's finished, I guess that's all that matters :)  
> The next chapter won't take as long to be posted, and I really do like it (and I hope you will too!)  
> Thank you all for your patience! This fic is alive and well again, finally.  
> Whoever still reads and hasn't forgotten this story: <3 <3 <3

'So, my husband and I... are planning on taking in a foster son. We've already met him.

He's been spending a few years on the streets, there was no one to take care of him, and he has been through... some...' He sighed. 'What he has been through is beyond words. It was hell. We want to help him heal, but we're well aware that we'll need help as well. Professional help, I mean. That's why I'm here.'

 

Ms. Moreno looked at him for a while before she answered.

'Sounds like you thought this through already. That is good. What do you want me to do? Talk to you and your husband? Your son? Your future foster son? I assume he already knows that you are planning on taking him in? How old is he?'

 

Cris sighed deeply. 'He ist thirteen. Yes, he knows we want him in our family, and although he still struggles with the thought of being wanted, he wants to live with us. We're just waiting for SEAFI to give their approval.

In the beginning it will be me and my husband who want to come talk to you, but maybe you'll be able to talk to him, too, when everything is settled. But first we just want... advice. How to handle certain situations. Him. So that we will make things better and not worse.'

 

Ms. Moreno nodded her head while she listened.

'Tell me what you know about him, please.'

 

Cris gave her a simplified version of what Jeff had told him about his life on the streets – he carefully left out the part about his parents and his life in New York. He wasn't sure whether or not to mention how they had met, but then he thought about how Ms. Moreno would probably be of import when SEAFI would make their decision of giving or declining them approval, so he took a deep breath and told her the story they had prepared for them. Something about that young woman with the dark ponytail made him trust her, which indicated that she chose the right profession.

 

When he had finished, she stayed quiet for some time. Cris began to feel uncomfortable. She might as well report him, he thought, and sweat started to drip down his spine.

 

'So I got that right, the boy is already living with you?'

 

Cris swallowed hard.

'We weren't going to hide him! But we couldn't just have him taken away, we couldn't! I know that was wrong, but... but... it was the right thing to do! The only thing!' He gasped.

 

'Right...

So SEAFI don't know about him yet.'

 

'I am calling them today. That's been the plan all along, I just wanted to talk to you first. We want to make sure we do everything we possibly can to help this kid heal. We're willing to work with whoever we need to. We'll do everything we'll be asked to.

But we can't have him ripped away from us by strangers he doesn't trust. That will break him for good.

We will protect him.'

 

Ms. Moreno looked him straight in the eye.

'I can see you're serious about this. I don't question your motives. What remains to be seen is how realistic you pictured this journey. But I get the feeling you did consider how hard it could become on you and your family.

What about your son? He's six, right?'

 

'Yes,' Cris replied, 'he is, and he loves the boy like a brother already.

His name is Jeffrey, by the way.'

 

There was silence for another few minutes. Then, finally, Ms. Moreno took a deep breath and looked up.

 

'Provided I have your word you will call SEAFI right after you walked out of my office, I'm willing to help you with this. I believe you're being honest, and it's beyond debate that you have the best intentions.'

She held out her hand. 'I'm in.'

 

Cris couldn't believe what he had just heard. This was almost too good to be true. He grabbed her hand with tears in his eyes.

'Thank you, thank you so much! And yes, of course you have my word. I mean, we still have to decide if it's me or my lawyer who's going to make that call, but it will be made today, I promise. Thank you!'

 

Ms. Moreno failed to hide a smile.

'Don't crow too soon. I'll be happy to help and give advice where I can, but I'm not the one to decide whether or not you'll be allowed to keep – Jeffrey.

 

Now, tell me more. What is your biggest fear currently regarding what you might do to make things worse, as you put it?'

 

'Well, I – ' Cris hesitated. This wasn't as easy to vocalise as he had thought.

'I... I am scared I might... do something wrong? React in the wrong way to something he does or says?

He has begun to build some trust, that is obvious. He seems comfortable with my husband, our son, and my mother. That is great progress for only a few days. But I'm aware it's nothing permanent yet. His trust is still extremely fragile, and I, I just... want to prove him that he won't regret trusting us, you know? That we, I, take nothing for granted, and don't demand anything from him.

On the other hand, we will have to demand things from him. He'll have to talk to someone from SEAFI, to you maybe, he'll have to attend school some day. I want him to be prepared, to be strong enough, to trust himself enough.

We've always taught Junior he can do anything he sets his mind on. He knows what he's capable of, he has faith in himself, he never questioned being... valuable, to us and in general.

 

But Jeffrey? He strongly believes he's worth nothing, he's nothing but a burden, all he's good for is – ' a little sob escaped Cristiano's mouth before he could do anything to stop it, 'he said it himself, all he's good for is, is, giving that sick pleasure to,' Cris pressed his fists against his eyes, 'I'm sorry, I already got a lot better at not crying when he is around, believe me, I can be strong for him,' he sobbed again, louder this time, 'but it hurts so much. It hurts like hell thinking of what has been done to him, seeing how hurt he is, how scared, how he believes it was all his fault and he didn't deserve any better,' Cris gave up, shook his head, and then buried his face in his hands as he cried.

 

Ms. Moreno sighed deeply. She didn't cry easily, but she did have to blink away some tears now.

This was going to be hard. This was going to be painful.

But apparently Cris wasn't someone to hold back his emotions, she had seen that on the pitch a few times, and that was good. That meant they'd be able to work things out. She was positive they could do it – he could do it.

She handed him a paper tissue and Cris wiped his eyes. 'Thank you.

Now, I'm not going to cry like this in front of him and tell him how horrible his life has been. I'm also not going to dismiss how horrible it has been and tell him to suck it up and get over it now that he's safe.

But there's so much in between.

How will I know if I do or say the right thing? Before I realise I screwed up, I mean.'

 

'Let's talk about the past few days,' Ms. Moreno said, 'and focus on the future later.

Has there been a situation where you think you screwed up?'

 

Cris let out a teary laugh. 'Plenty.'

 

'And a situation that you'd say you handled well?'

 

'Hm, I... yes, I think so?' Cris inhaled audibly.

 

'Okay,' Ms. Moreno eventually grabbed her pen, 'let's talk about the situations that didn't go so well. Give me an example.'

 

After thinking for a while, Cris told her how he had yelled at Jeffrey to make him stop talking about his abuse when he had been in the bathtub. How he had shouted so loud that he had made Jeffrey flinch hard enough to tumble when they had been playing football and Cris had scored. And finally about the incident in the gym when he had had to get Jeff's blanket.

 

'All right.

So these situations occured when you acted too carefree around him, except for the first one, I don't think we need to talk about that one, it was very natural for you to react like that, and I don't think you did any harm, regarding what you told me happened afterwards.

 

But the other ones? What do you think scared him?'

 

Cris blinked a few times. 'I scared him by sudden noises or movements I made. What are you trying to tell me here?'

 

Ms. Moreno smiled. 'I'm not trying to tell you anything. I'm trying to work things out with you. I think you're right, unexpected noises or fast movements near him seem to scare him. I guess we can imagine why.

And you handled that by apologising?' She looked at her notes and then back at him. 'How did he respond to that?'

 

'He apologised himself. For being scared, for being silly. As if he'd offend me by being scared.'

 

'I see. What did you do then?'

 

'I'd tell him there was no need to apologise. I'd either try and change the topic to not make things awkward, or reassure him...'

 

They were both quiet while the counsellor studied her notes again.

'Now tell me about the blanket,' she eventually asked Cris, 'what's that about?'

 

Cristiano explained it to her, and Ms. Moreno raised her brows and looked at him. 'What gave you that idea?'

 

Cris shrugged, 'I don't know, it just came to my mind, so I thought I'd try it out. And it worked.'

 

The counsellor smiled again.

'So you realise you made a situation where you... _screwed up_ into something inherently positive?'

 

It took Cris a few seconds, but then he returned the smile. 'You think? I did?'

 

'Absolutely. You said it yourself, it worked. And it obviously made Jeffrey feel safe.

 

Let me tell you what I got from your stories.

I understand that you are well aware of his emotional state at least most of the time. Of course you're not perfect at handling a traumatised child, how would you be, but to me it sounds pretty damn great what you did so far.

You said he has begun to build some trust – why would he do that if it weren't for the people around him to make him feel safe? He'll need a lot of time to adjust, and to heal, but I believe you're headed in the right direction.'

 

She got up from her chair and held out her hand again, 'I'm afraid our session is already over. I hope I could help a bit so far, take care, and please ask my secretary for a new appointment for next week. Thank you.'

 

'Thank you,' Cris said while shaking her hand, 'especially for your kind words. I do feel better now. See you next week.'

 

 

 

On the way back Cris decided to let Vera make the phone call. He'd ask her to as soon as he'd get home.

He wondered how much he should tell Jeffrey about his conversation with Ms. Moreno. It would probably suffice to let him know that she was going to support them. And that he really liked her and could imagine Jeffrey talking to her, too, when he'd feel ready.

 

He took a deep breath.

They had taken the first step. He would definitely bring Ricky for the next appointment.

 

Cristiano gave Vera a call before he got out of the car. He informed her about what Ms.Moreno had said and asked her to call SEAFI for him.

'I guess it's a logical step to have my lawyer talk to them first. I trust you on this, I'm certain you'll know how to handle this.

Do you think they'll send someone over right away?'

He gritted his teeth.

'Do you think they'll take him away before they'll even talk to us?'

 

'I don't know,' Vera answered honestly, 'it certainly is a possibility. I'll do my best to convince them to talk to you first, but I can't promise you anything.

It probably depends on the person who will take over your case, and on how much work they have to do I guess.

We need to get this over with, though. The sooner, the better. You remember our story, right?'

 

'We do.'

 

'Good.

I'll call you back as soon as I have any new information. Take care.'

 

She hung up, and Cris did, too, noticing how his hands were shaking.

It had begun.

And he was scared to death.

 

                                                              -------------------------------------------

 

'I'm back!' he called when he had closed the door behind him. He heard voices from the kitchen, so he headed there. Before he even entered it, he recognised one of the voices as Dinis', his sister's youngest son.

His heart skipped a beat. Now he could hear Katia, too.

What were they doing here?

 

' _Amor_ , get away from him,' was the first thing he could fully understand when he walked into the kitchen. Katia's voice was calm, but Cris broke out in a cold sweat when he saw what was happening here.

 

Jeffrey was huddled in a corner of the room, his back pressed against the wall. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was trembling.

 

Katia was hugging her son around the shoulders from behind, probably to keep him from approaching Jeffrey. Dolores was standing next to them, obviously upset. When she saw Cristiano, she wrung her hands. 'I don't know what to do!' she exclaimed, tears in her eyes.

 

Cris didn't, either. He stared at his mum, then at Jeffrey, then at Katia.

'What is going on?' he finally managed to ask.

 

His sister seemed to be the only one who was able to stay calm. 'Dinis, love, take grandma to the living room, will you?' He gave him a gentle push and he took his grandma's hand. Dolores let him guide her out of the kitchen without objecting.

 

Then Katia faced her little brother.

'I think you are supposed to tell _me_ what's going on here. But first of all, will you please take care of that poor child there?'

 

Cris had to blink a few times. 'What happened?'

 

'Well, I called mum and she told me she was staying at your place, so I figured maybe Junior wasn't feeling well and mum was here to watch him. I decided to pay them a surprise visit with Dinis to see if we could help. His school is closed today due to some maintenance work.

You know I have a key, so we just walked right in. And then there's mum sitting in the kitchen with some strange kid who turns white as a sheet when he sees us, and mum suddenly looks like she's having a panic attack, and Dinis practically bombards the boy with questions before I even have a chance to stop him, and then the boy acts as though we were axe murderers who broke into the house and are out to get him? What the hell, Cristiano?'

 

Cris rubbed his face with his hands.

This was't good. Not good at all.

He knew he could trust Katia, but for Jeff this was a disaster.

 

Jeff. He did need to take care of him. Now.

 

The boy hadn't moved. He hadn't even opened his eyes. Cris could hear his heavy breathing. He had covered his head with his arms.

Cristiano carefully approached him and crouched down in front of him. He gingerly touched his arm with one hand.

' _Querido_ , it's all right,' he whispered, 'it's okay, you're safe. Please look at me.'

 

Jeffrey whimpered.

With a very gentle grasp, Cis pulled the boy's arms away from his face.

' _Olha para mim_ ,' he said in the softest voice.

 

Jeff snivelled, but he hesitantly put his arms down. Then, slowly, he turned his head to face Cristiano. His face was wet from tears.

 

Cris gave him a reassuring smile. He had no idea how he managed to at least appear this calm on the outside, but he was grateful he did.

 

'Look, _amor_ , this is Katia, my sister. She won't hurt you. She's not here to take you away. She won't tell anyone about you. It's all right, don't worry.'

 

Jeffrey sniffled.

'I got scared.'

His voice was weak.

 

'I know, love. Of course you did. But I'm here now.

Come here, will you?'

 

He opened his arms, and after sucking in another quiet sob, Jeffrey nestled up to his chest. Cris hugged him and felt the tension leave the boy's body.

'I'm sorry,' he heard him mumble in the lowest voice. He replied by kissing his head.

'Let's get you upstairs. I think you could use some rest.'

He got up, lifting Jeffrey in his arms. It was like holding a baby that was even too little to hug back yet.

 

 

 

When he came back downstairs, Katia had made tea for the adults and some hot cocoa for Dinis who was watching TV in the living room. Cris took a seat at the kitchen table where Katia and Dolores were already sitting and gratefully grabbed a mug.

'I couldn't leave him right away. But he's sleeping now.'

 

Katia sighed audibly. 'He?'

 

'Jeffrey. His name is Jeffrey.

Ricardo and I are going to be his foster parents. Hopefully.'

 

Katia's brows rised in surprise. 'When did you decide that? How long have you even known that boy? Who decided he could live with you? And when? Who is he? Why – '

Cristiano interrupted her by holding up his hands. 'Stop! Please. I promise I will answer all of your questions, but not now. Not today. I'm waiting for Vera to call me back, I'm exhausted already, please give me a break. For now, all you need to know is that you mustn't tell anyone about him. Make sure Dinis doesn't – but don't tell him this was a secret, I love him dearly, but you know how he is. He couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it. So please think of something utterly boring to explain this to him. Make sure he won't even waste a second thought on it. I'll tell you everything, all of you.

Just give us the time we need. Please.'

 

Katia didn't say anything. She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her brother's forehead.

Cristiano relaxed.

 

And then almost jumped when his phone rang.

 

                                                                      ------------------------------

 

'Monday,' he panted when he came back to the kitchen, putting his phone on the table.

'They're coming Monday. They're not coming for him today or at the weekend, I have no idea how Vera did that, _Deus a abençoe_.'

He rubbed his head with one hand.

'I need to call Ricky. We get a break till Monday.'

 

The sound of his voice brought tears to Dolores' and even to Katia's eyes although she didn't really understand what he was talking about. But she could tell it was something big that was going on here.

 

 

'We have more big news,' Cris eventually said as he was having his second cup of tea.

'M _ãe_ , I'm sorry, we meant to tell you earlier, but we somehow just... forgot.

Ricardo and I are going to be parents again. The twins will probably be born in June.'

 

'TWINS!' Katia screamed excitedly, jumped up from her chair, and flung her arms around her brother's neck. 'That's incredible, amazing, I can't believe it!'

 

Dolores had gasped for breath and was now staring at her son and daughter with big, teary eyes. Katia hugged her too and kept making noises like a little kid that just heard the ice cream truck, while Dolores laughed and cried at the same time. They were loud enough to attract Dinis' attention.

'What's going on here?' he asked as he walked into the kitchen.

'More cousins,' his mother replied with a beaming smile. 'Twin babies are on their way to your uncles.'

She paused and shot Cristiano a look.

'But it's a secret, _amor_ , we mustn't tell anyone yet, you got that?'

 

Dinis nodded with a very earnest expression on his face.

Cristiano kissed Katia's cheek. 'You're a genius,' he whispered in her ear.

 

 

Dinis had loads of questions about the twins.

'Is it going to be two boys? Or two girls? Or a girl and a boy? How do you know? When will they be born? What are their names? Are they identical twins? Can they be if it's a boy and a girl?'

 

Cris smiled lovingly at his little nephew.

'It's a boy and a girl. So no, they're not identical twins. They're dizygotic. Fraternal twins. And actually they're also... Well, one of them is biologically mine, like Junior. And the other one is Ricky's. But we don't know which one is mine and which one is his. I mean, it doesn't matter really, they're both _ours_. So we're not planning on finding out.

 

We haven't decided on the names yet. It's still about six months until they'll be born.'

 

Dinis nodded again. 'You could name the boy Ricardo junior – oh, but we'd have no way of telling the two Juniors apart. No, that's not good. This is tough.'

He admiringly beheld his mother. 'You could name the girl Katia.

No, wait, then aunty Elma might be sad.' He sighed. 'This is _really_ tough!'

 

Cris smiled, and Katia kissed her son's temple.

'Who was that boy who was so scared of me?' he suddenly asked. Again, Katia managed to keep her cool.

'Oh, that was just a friend of Junior's. He sometimes gets scared of new people, but he'll be fine.

Listen, you will remember not to tell anyone about the twins, right? That's really important. It's a big secret that we need to keep until your uncles give us permission to talk about it.'

 

Cris felt a little bad. He knew that the more they'd tell Dinis to keep a secret, the harder it would be for him to do so. But it was a great way to keep his mind off Jeffrey, and that was more important right now.

If he'd slip and talk about the twins they'd assure him it was okay.

Also, Cris had to bite back a grin thinking of that, Katia wasn't the best at keeping secrets, either.

But he had no doubts she'd keep the one about Jeffrey. This was just different, and she knew that. And with God's help it wouldn't take SEAFI too long to make their decision and settle everything, so there would be no secrets anymore.

Cristiano sighed. What a beautiful thought.

 

 

                                                                              -------------------------

 

 

Katia and Dinis went to pick Junior up from school. They'd take him to their place provided he'd agree to it. He loved spending time with Katia and his cousins, though, especially Dinis who was like a brother to him.

 

Dolores went home, too, after she made Cris allow her to tell Hugo and Elma about the twins.

 

So Cris had some time to himself now while he waited for either Jeffrey to wake up or Ricky to come home from work.

Since he had excused himself from training again so he could see Ms. Moreno, he changed into his sportswear and exercised in his gym. He couldn't afford to fall behind on his training schedule.

 

He worked out for about an hour, then took a hot shower, and prepared something to eat. He hadn't eaten much during the day, and Jeffrey hadn't had anything since breakfast, although it had been a late breakfast.

When he was finished, he put the food in the oven to keep it warm, and then cleaned the kitchen.

He had just wiped the kitchen counter when Ricky entered the house.

'I'm here,' Cristiano called.

 

'Hmmm, it smells delicious in here,' Ricky kissed his husband on the cheek, 'what did you make?'

 

Cris shrugged, 'just some pasta, nothing special. Are you hungry?'

 

'Starving,' Ricky replied. Then he looked around. 'Where is everyone?'

 

'Oh dear,' Cristiano sighed deeply, 'I got a lot to tell you.

But let's eat first.'

 

They left a serving for Jeffrey in the oven and sat down for dinner.

Meanwhile, Cris told Ricky everything that had happened – his talk with Ms. Moreno and with Vera, Katia's and Dinis' surprise visit and what he had told them and Dolores.

Ricky wiped his mouth with a serviette after the last bite.

'That was just as delicious as it smelled,' he said. 'Let me clear the table real quick and then we'll talk.'

 

They sat down on the couch, close to each other, and Cris leaned his head on Ricky's shoulder. 'I'm glad you're finally home,' he said in a low voice. Ricky stroked Cristiano's hair.

'I'm sorry I wasn't here to support you. I'll be there next time you see Ms. Moreno, I promise.

And bless Vera for convincing SEAFI to leave us alone over the weekend. We'll be prepared when they come question us, and I'll be right there with you.'

He chuckled.

'I guess we can also prepare to read some rumors about the twins in the tabloids pretty soon, but I don't mind.'

 

Cris laughed, too. 'I think Dinis will be able to hold his tongue for a month at most. But a lot can happen within a month. Three or four weeks should suffice, hopefully.'

 

He lifted his head and looked at Ricky. 'We can do this together. We can do anything together.'

 

Ricky looked at him, too, but didn't meet his eyes.

There was a significant expression in his own.

They were sitting so close they could faintly feel each other's breath.

Ricky kept looking at Cristiano, he seemed totally lost in his partner's features. His eyes skimmed over Cristiano's face, every little detail of it, while Ricky's own face showed an expression of such awe that it sent shivers down Cristiano's spine.

Then Ricky reached out with one hand, slowly, and, light as a feather, his fingertips touched Cristiano's temple, his cheekbone, his chin, his skin right below his bottom lip.

 

Cristiano swallowed.

'What are you doing?' he whispered softly.

 

Ricardo was still looking at him, but still didn't look him in the eye.

 

'I'm loving you,' he answered quietly.

'Don't you feel it?'

 

'I do. I do feel it,' Cris had to swallow again. He could feel the love seeping through Ricky's fingertips, could feel it warm his skin and his heart.

 

Their eyes finally met – a little smile appeared on their lips, Cris felt tears rise, Ricky came closer, closer, and when they kissed, lips closed and soft, their worlds, they became one.

It felt so good, so right, so whole it almost hurt.

 

 

 

 

When they looked up after what felt like hours and only the blink of an eye at the same time, Jeffrey was standing in the doorframe.

He shot them a warm glance.

 

'I didn't mean to interrupt,' he said quietly, 'but may I have some food? I'm a bit hungry.'

 

 

'I had the weirdest dream,' he told them while eating. They were sitting at the kitchen table together again.

'Your mum and I were sitting right here when suddenly we heard the front door snap shut, and then there were – '

He put his fork down, and his face went blank and then turned white.

'That wasn't a dream, right?' he whispered.

 

Cris shook his head. 'No, it wasn't. Those people were my sister and her son. But there's no need to worry, trust me.

 

 _Menino_ , Vera, our lawyer, called SEAFI today. They'll visit us on Monday.'

 

Jeffrey gasped. His huge, dark eyes contrasted with his very pale face. 'Will they come to – to take me away?' he breathed.

 

Ricky laid a comforting hand on the boy's arm. 'Not necessarily. They'll want to talk to us to get to know you and us and to get an impression of what might be best for you.

If they seriously doubted you were safe with us, they would have come today, don't you think? So I guess them waiting till Monday probably is a good sign.'

 

Jeff nodded, but it was obvious that he wasn't convinced.

 

 

                                       --------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Junior spent the night at his auntie's, so Cris and Ricky slept in on Saturday; Jeffrey didn't tend to leave his room too early, awake or not.

They stayed in bed a little longer after waking up, all snuggled up, legs and arms intertwined, while Cris taught Ricky Vera's story about how they had met Jeffrey. It was important they'd all know it by heart when the social worker would question them. Cris wasn't worried about Jeffrey in this case, he seemed to have internalised the story right away.

He told Ricky about how they had practised the story and how Jeff had surprised him with his impressive lying skills.

'Well,' Ricky stated, 'you know what people say about good liars, right? They're intelligent and have incredible social skills.'

 

Cristiano grinned. 'Really? So how do you explain that you're a terrible liar then?'

Ricky immediately took revenge on him for that joke, and they laughed until they had to catch their breath.

 

When they started kissing, catching their breath was not an option anymore.

 

 

 

The house was quiet when Jeffrey woke up in the morning. It was hard for him to keep track of the days, but today was... He furrowed his brows as he was thinking. Had he really been here for an entire week now? He stretched and then pulled his blanket up to his chin. There was no pain – nowhere in his body. This was the first time he truly became aware of that. He found it hard to imagine he'd ever adjust to that.

He wasn't cold or hungry. Or dirty.

Or scared.

What kind of life even was this? How was he supposed to believe this was real?

Or that it would last?

 


End file.
